


Beyond your window is my heart

by spymaster



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, How They Met, Kara is a part-time sign holder, Lena is disabled, Light Angst, Luthor is a loving family, Wheelchair!Lena
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-03-03 10:17:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 32,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13339158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spymaster/pseuds/spymaster
Summary: Lena is disabled after an accident, she stays home for many months until one day she sees a sign holder across the street.‘1 universe, 9 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas, and I had the privilege of being only 30 feet apart from you.’





	1. Thirty Feet

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I've never written disabled Lena so I'm giving it a try. Everything is unbeta-ed
> 
> I don't own any character, only the mistakes.

_‘1 universe, 9 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas, and I had the privilege of being only 30 feet apart from you.’_

 

Lena opened her eyes and inhaled the scent of her own bedroom. It didn't get more comfortable even though she had been staying here for half a year. She had never been one to stay in her room or to spend time alone, she used to go out, have fun, work and contribute her best to the thing she loved the most: science.

She could imagine herself getting up and hopping to the bathroom, brushing her teeth, probably wiggling her body to a song. She could imagine opening the closet, picking up her clothes and getting dressed while thinking about her projects, her teammates. She could plan a night out with them, getting sloppy drunk and calling her brother Lex to pick up, listening to his complaints on the way home.

She could still imagine them all, the daily activities Lena always did.

Until she couldn't anymore.

When the accident happened. An explosion at the lab where Lena worked. The heat had been blinding and painfully destructive.

It had taken away her future.

It had taken away her job.

It had taken away her friends.

It had taken away her legs.

The black-haired girl reached for the little bell next to her bed, pulled the string and waited. A few seconds later, a young woman appeared at the door with a kind smile.

“Good morning, Miss Luthor.”

Lena automatically replied with, “Hello, Jess.”

“May I?” Jess politely asked, gesturing Lena’s legs. It was something her personal caretaker always did, asking for permission, but Lena bitterly thought that she couldn't answer differently anyway.

“Sure.”

The kind woman walked closer to the bed and slowly uncovered the blanket upon Lena. She closed her eyes as she felt the chilly air of morning washed through the skin around her lower limbs. She felt them, she still felt them. But she didn't want to feel them.

Why should she endure the pain from something she could no longer use?

Everything had passed by the same ever since the day she returned from the hospital. Her mother, Lillian, helped her on every step. Her brother, Lex, had cleared up everything out of her reach and placed them neatly at waist-level. They had installed a device that helped Lena’s wheelchair moving up and down the stairs. The crutches were bought and placed in the corner of her room.

Everything had been prepared.

For someone who couldn't walk.

That reality had sunk in hard and Lena never came downstairs again. Every time she saw the stairs, she was reminded of the times she skipped two steps at once. It was an invisible proof and mental pinch for Lena that she wasn't dreaming, she really could not walk.

Today was a Monday. Lena used to hate Mondays because she would have to go to work.

Now she hated them even more.

While Lex nearly got married to his job, her mother still had to go to the company of Luthor Corp, her father’s legacy. That meant Lena was always home alone. Well there was Jess but you know what she meant.

Lena was assisted by Jess to sit in her wheelchair, the life companion she had made after the accident. It had been torturous for her at first, learning how to use the thing properly but since she couldn't even get herself a glass of water, Lena had tried her best to learn. Six months later, Lena felt less unfamiliar and always wanted to use it, rather than the crutches.

The crutches reminded her of the months she has spent to do therapy for walking. It had been really painful and she had fallen over and over. She hadn't given up easily but then she realized the chance for her to walk again practically didn't exist.

So Lena and the wheelchair were friends.

“I’ll be right downstairs, ring the bell or call me if you need anything, Miss Luthor.” With that, Jess left the room and allowed Lena to continue her everyday task: doing nothing.

The Luthor girl rolled the chair to her bookshelf that had been reinstalled lower by her dear brother and fetched one book. Then she glanced at it and opened a random page to read. Lena didn't read because she cared, she did because she had nothing else to do.

The room was getting dimmer and Lena sighed, rolling the chair closer to the window for better lighting. She pulled the curtains aside and was about to return to the book when her eyes caught something.

A donut.

A giant donut.

A giant donut holding a sign.

On the corner of the street, there was a person, a girl, in a donut costume that covered her from head to knees, spinning a white cardboard sign with words on it. Lena frowned, trying to make out the words but decided to drop because the girl was dancing.

Lifting an eyebrow, she retreated her hands back on the lap and observed the dancing donut. She was wiggling her butts while spinning the sign that no one could read fast enough.

Wasn't her job to let people see the words printed on the sign? Why did she get paid for doing such a lousy performance? Lena got irritated out of sudden when the donut started doing cartwheels. Then hopping on the ground like a frog.

_What the heck is going on with this girl?_

_If I was her, I’d pay more attention to my job and do it properly. If I was her, I’d stop dancing so idiotically and hold the sign up for the drivers to see._

Lena realized she was being irritated because she could have done a better job but she couldn't prove it because at least, this girl had functional legs.

Yanking the curtains to shield her sight from the annoying donut, Lena hoped the girl would find another spot to do her poor job tomorrow.

 

___

 

The donut appeared again, right on that spot of the street.

Lena hadn't planned to check but the curtains were opened by Jess as usual and Lena’s eyes automatically wandered to that place due to curiosity. The same donut, the same sign, presumably, and the same silly dance.

Well, not actually the same silly dance. This time, the donut mimicked robot moves rather than shook its ass. It was a bad choice, actually, trying to move in that costume. It was too big and round so the donut ended up looking like having a seizure.

Lena let out a laugh. And she covered her mouth just as soon as she realized it.

Lena frowned. She didn't enjoy this, it was just too ridiculous and she couldn't help but laugh.

No, she didn't enjoy that, at all.

If she had spent twenty minutes looking through the window that day, she wouldn't have admitted.

 

___

 

It had been two weeks ever since Lena noticed the donut. There was one time, the donut wasn't the donut but a hot dog. The girl didn't dance much on that day and Lena was curious as to why. Probably it was because the costume had reduced the range of her movements.

Anyway, it had been an odd moment for Lena because she felt like the girl wasn’t as energetic as the other days.

She wondered if it was because the girl couldn't move the way she wanted or there was another reason.

But she was curious nevertheless.

The next day, the donut costume returned, with more sprinkles on it. Lena smirked to herself when she figured out that the reason behind the costume change must have been the dance the girl did every day. It was a bit destructive to the material, though entertaining.

Lena was a bit glad that the annoying donut costume was back. She’d rather take this over the lack of stamina hot dog any day.

 

___

 

Lena felt worried about the girl in the donut costume.

There was something she hadn't thought of but now, when it sunk into her house with its force, Lena had to consider it as a warning.

It was hot. Blazing hot in her room. Which was scary because that meant the outside was even hotter than that. And the donut was still dancing.

Lena had noticed how her movements were a bit slower and seemed more tired than usual. If Lena was here, in her room, safe from the heat and was still sweating like a pig, the other girl must have felt even worse. And in addition to that, she must have been enduring it the entire time.

_This is dangerous. I need to do something._

Lena’s initial instinct was to stand up but the chair creaked and reminded her that she couldn't do it anymore. So she rolled the chair back, then headed to the door of her room.

“Jess!” she called, “Jess, do you hear me?” Lena didn't hear any response so she pulled the chair out of the room and went towards the stairs. She stopped at the first step and called again, “Jess!”

The personal caretaker’s footsteps could be heard from downstairs and she rushed to Lena, terrified. “Miss Luthor, what are you doing out here? You could have fallen down! Please, let me bring you inside.”

Jess quickly turned the chair around and proceeded to push Lena back into her room. “Wait,” Lena half-turned around and looked up at Jess, “can you do me a favor?”

The caretaker’s eyes lit up with curiosity, “Of course, anything.”

 

___

 

Kara took a deep breath and wiped her nose with one wrist, lowering down the sign. She was drowning in sweats and she knew that the costume would stink like hell after today. It was one of the hottest days since she started this job here.

Her sister, Alex, had suggested that Kara should do a part-time job while waiting for the answers from the companies she had applied to. Instead of sitting around and wasting time, Kara decided to work for her best friend, Winn. He owned a small business of delivering food downtown and there were always positions for sign holders. The job included wearing a costume and while others mostly picked hot dog or sandwich costume, Kara decided to go with one of her favorite food.

Kara became a donut. 

The reason she had picked this corner was the beautiful garden in front of the houses. A train of red roses and tulips in various colors, red daisies, sunflowers ran along the pavement from left to right, painting a beautiful notion that always got her eyes everytime Alex drove her past this street.

Among those pretty and colorful garden, there was one house that stood out. No flowers, no decorations, just a simple ivory low brick wall embraced the house and the metal gates on the left. The only presence of nature on the gates was a layer of vines that climbed along the texture. There was something about the house that screamed loneliness and sorrow that it attracted Kara’s eyes. The house was beautiful indeed and Kara didn’t doubt that there were people inside but she rarely saw anyone coming in or leaving the house. There was a window upstairs that never opened, even in the hottest days or when the sun was shining the whole town, it remained closed.

Then a woman stepped out of the front door.

Kara almost thought she was imagining things but the small figure silently walked to the gates, opened them and crossed the road. Kara stopped dancing and poured out her attention on the rare occasion. She wondered where the woman was going and what she was taking with her.

Suprisingly, she came straight for Kara.

“Hello,” she smiled kindly.

“Hi,” Kara replied, still not figuring out the reason this woman came to talk, “do you want to read the sign?”

The woman shook her head slightly and handed Kara the bag. “This is for you.”

“M-me?” she stuttered, not taking the object yet, “What is it?”

The woman gave her a knowing look, “Something for a hot day.”

Only now, Kara took the bag and immediately felt the coldness from the thing inside the bag. She looked and found out it was two bottles of fresh water. Quickly looking up to thank the woman, Kara grinned widely, “Thank you.”

“They’re not from me-” the woman answered and lowered her voice, “-but someone else.”

“From whom?” Kara muttered, instinctively directed her eyes at the closed window and caught the movement of the curtains being slammed together. Turning back to the other woman, she asked, “Was that them?”

The small woman only raised her index finger to her lips. “Shhh…”

“I’d love to thank them,” Kara insisted, “Can I meet them?”

“Unfortunately, no. It’s not my decision to make,” the woman apologetically said and slightly bowed, “Good day.”

Long before the woman had returned to the house, Kara was still thinking about the kind gesture from the person inside the vined gates house. She deeply felt like owing them and wanted to express her gratitude.

But how?

 

___

 

Lena stretched herself on the bed before ringing the bell as usual. It should have been normal but her heart somehow felt lighter.

Was it because she had, though indirectly, interacted with the donut girl yesterday?

Jess didn’t say much about the nameless girl and Lena didn’t ask. She was very intrigued but she decided not to dig deep because it would be weird to question her caretaker about a stranger after one time they talked.

The Luthor youngest girl rolled the chair to the spot next to the window and found that Jess hadn’t opened the curtains as usual. Lena pulled sharply and the curtains were on the sides. The morning sunlight brightened up the room, Lena squinted her eyes and let them adjusted to the brightness.

Then, the first thing she took in outside the window was the girl in her familiar donut costume.

But she wasn’t dancing, she was properly doing her job: holding up a sign.

Lena tilted her head in curiosity as to why the girl was standing still today and suddenly the girl flipped the sign over. Her heart stopped when she saw what was written on the back side.

 

_**THANK YOU** _

 

Lena pushed the frame of the window and the wheelchair staggered backward. Heat overcame her entire chest and face, her heart banged like a woodpecker inside her chest, when she placed her hand upon it, she practically felt the rhythm. She blinked several times to steady herself before the surprise.

 _Is she talking to me?_ Lena wondered and carefully rolled the chair to the window again.

The sign with ‘thank you’ written on it was still be held in the girl’s hands over her head. Lena gulped and took a deep breath when she realized the donut girl was actually really cute. And she had her hair out today, not putting it under the spandex of the costume.

A blonde.

Her golden locks caught the sunlight and lit up a corner of the street but the only thing that shone even brighter was the grin seated on her lips. She seemed friendly.

Lena wanted to respond but she had no way to do that. Her eyes flickered to the desk and saw a pad of Post-it notes that had been staying there forever. She picked it up and had an idea.

 

___

 

Kara’s arms started getting sore a bit when she spotted a figure putting something on the window. A little green Post-it sticker.

Then another one.

And another one.

The person inside the house was trying to say something, Kara assumed and waited.

The stickers formed a large check mark symbol on the glass window that was never opened. Kara smiled and lowered the sign. She didn’t even know anything about the person inside the house but she had a feeling that they were an interesting one.

 

___

 

Lena looked through the window and found another message from the donut girl.

 

_**HI, I’M KARA** _

 

She smiled at the surprised information. 

Kara. What a beautiful name.

Lena pressed a green sticker on the window. The sign holder raised a thumb up with a bright grin. She lowered the board and used something to erase the written words, then picked up a marker and wrote something on it again.

 

_**CAN I KNOW YOUR NAME?** _

 

Lena hummed and placed one green sticker on the window. Then she continued to form the initial letter of her name. The blonde nodded. Lena proceeded to spell the rest.

 

_**LENA?** _

 

The black-haired girl behind the window blushed. She slapped gently on her cheeks to calm herself down. It was weird because it was only her name on the board, yet it made her suddenly utterly happy. Pushing aside the embarrassment from the odd reaction, Lena took down the stickers on the window and left only one.

The blonde wrote something again.

 

_**NICE TO MEET YOU** _

 

Lena pinned the sticker to form a smiley face, catching the grin from the girl and unknowingly, her lips stretched into a genuine smile.

She hadn’t learned that Jess had seen the interaction between her and the sign holder for a few minutes and saw the girl who had shut herself from everyone, now was expressing the very first positive sign of opening her heart.

 

___

 

_**DO YOU LIKE DONUTS?** _

 

Lena pinned a green sticker on the window, indicating a ‘yes’.

 

_**ME TOO. PIZZA?** _

 

Another green sticker.

 

_**AWESOME!** _

 

Lena chuckled. It had been like this for the past few weeks, Kara asked the questions and Lena answered with a green sticker for ‘yes’ and a pink one for ‘no’. She had learned a lot about the blonde, like her favorite colors, drinks, and food. Turned out, Kara wasn’t a picky one when it came to food.

She wanted to be the one to ask for once, but that meant she would have to face the girl and talk. The mere thought alone scared Lena. Kara hadn't seen her so far, and she didn't know that Lena couldn't leave the house.

 

_**POPCORN?** _

 

Lena answered yes.

The next question made her heart drop.

 

_**MOVIE WITH ME?** _

 

Her hands froze when she saw the words. She stared at the blonde, who was looking up at the window with anticipation and hope. Lena repressed a sigh and picked up the pink sticker pad.

Kara smile faltered a bit but then she scribbled the next question.

 

_**TOO SOON?** _

 

Lena sadly gazed at the words. At least, it was one way to refuse. She pinned a green sticker next to the pink one. Kara nodded and erased the question, writing another one.

 

_**POTSTICKERS?** _

 

___

 

“Did something fun happen today, sweetie?”

Lena looked up from her plate when she heard Lillian’s kind voice. Lex was also looking at her with a smile from the opposite side of the table. She gave her mother a glance, “No, mom.”

“Are you sure? You've been smiling non-stop ever since the dinner started,” Lex chimed in, putting a piece of steak into his mouth to hide a smirk.

Lena looked down at her own steak, continued cutting it. “I’m not smiling.”

“How was your day, Lena?” Lillian asked again, not giving up on the conversation.

The youngest Luthor answered before putting a piece of meat in her mouth, “It was okay.”

Nobody carried on the talk after that and Lena felt relieved that she didn't have to try a way to avoid her family’s caring questions. She knew they wanted her to share and be who she used to be but it was hard, especially after seeing the burned bodies of her dear friends among the ruins. She had no idea how she was still alive but she never believed she deserved it. All of her deceased friends were good people with bright future ahead, they were nothing different from her, why must cruel fate take them away and leave her behind with this pain, this hopelessness passing day by day?

After the dinner, her mother went back to the study to finish her work. Lex, on the other hand, stayed and told Lena to wait.

He fetched something from the living room: a box of donuts.

“Where did you get them?” she asked, eyeing the delicious treats with six different flavors. Her eyes lingered at the chocolate one with rainbow sprinkles on top, looking identical to Kara’s costume.

“From a small store downtown. My assistant suggested it and I thought you would love to have some,” Lex pushed the box closer to her, “You pick one first.”

Lena’s hand flew over the rainbow sprinkled one and grabbed the donut that was covered in powdered sugar. She took a bite and said through the food, “Good.”

One of Lex’s eyebrows went up, “I’m glad you like it.” He chose the white chocolate one with decorative zebra texture chocolate running on it, taking a bite and hummed satisfyingly. “Jesus, this is heaven.”

Lena’s lips curved into a soft smile and she continued to finish her donut. Suddenly, Lex’s phone rang and he picked it up. Then he placed it against his chest. “Can I take another one?”

“Sure,” she answered. Lex’s hand went into the box and headed for the rainbow sprinkled donut. Lena slapped his hand. “Not that one.”

Lex gave her a shocked look and moved his hand to another donut, slowly picking it up as if he was waiting for her to oppose the choice again. She didn't so he took it and walked into the living room to continue his phone call.

Now Lena was alone at the dinner table, she continued to eat the other two donuts while staring at the rainbow one. It was a nice coincidence to see something related to Kara that was within her reach. Lena traced her fingers around the colorful treat with a smile. Then she sighed when she recalled how she had turned Kara down a few days ago. The blonde didn't seem upset but Lena still felt guilty.

She looked at the donut again, picking it up and searched for the toothpick pack on the counter behind her. Lena rolled the chair to it and took four toothpicks, plugging them into the donut. Now it looked just like Kara.

Lena chuckled to herself as she made the donut dance on the table like a puppet master and remembered how annoying she had found when she first saw the giant donut on the pavement many weeks ago.

Now she was mimicking the movements to an inanimate object.

Lena laughed at herself and pulling the toothpicks out to eat the donut.

Between the frame door leading to the living room, Lex no longer paid attention to the person on his phone because he had just seen his sister doing something silly with an amused smile on her lips.

And he wondered what had the little donut done to Lena that made her so happy?

 

___

 

The Q&A session began again. Lena was waiting for Jess to come back from the store with a load of new Post-it stickers because she was almost out of stickers. Kara was dancing in her costume again after her daily question of ‘how are you today’ and continued her job while waiting for Lena’s response.

Suddenly, Lena heard the thumping beat of music coming from the other side of the street. A young man in T-shirt and loosed jeans was carrying a boombox, moving to the rhythm of a rap song. He came to where Kara was standing and after a few exchanges, he put the stereo down.

The powerful and familiar beat of ‘Single Ladies’ shouted through the street and even Lena’s window. Lena dropped her mouth when the guy started dancing to the music, his moves were crazily good and Kara was also staring at him and clapping her hands. Then, surprisingly, Kara danced too.

Now imagine this, a donut dancing to Beyonce’s signature moves of Single Ladies, the sign was left on the ground and the pedestrians started noticing the dancing donut and the guy. People began to stand around them, cheering them on. Lena grinned like an idiot at the sight and slightly moved to the upbeat music. It reminded her of the days she went to the club and hang out with her friends. A solemn feeling crawled into her chest but somehow it didn't feel heavy. She was here, she was stilling living and she was still dancing.

Kara was wearing a funny costume, not giving much thought about dancing in front of strangers, grinning from ear to ear and enjoying her life to the fullest. Lena looked down at her own legs and gently rubbed her thighs. Her sensitive skin felt the touch, itching to send some pain but Lena wasn't afraid of it.

A part of her wanted to do the same to what Kara was doing. That part made her happy.

Another part, the part that had been always sitting in her mind, told her that it was impossible.

Lena continued to observe the crowd with a neutral face. Finally, the song ended and Kara cheerfully raised a thumb up at Lena. She picked up the few green stickers left and pinned them all on the window.

After Jess had returned, Lena had a bunch of stickers and even extra paper sheets to play with and she realized she could be the one to send questions too. How come she hadn't thought of this first?

 

___

 

Kara wiped off the sweats and said goodbye to Tyrone, the nice man who had danced Single Ladies with her just for fun. She had seen children and their parents laughing in the crowd earlier, it warmed her heart that she somehow made them smile.

_Did I make Lena smile too?_

She looked up at the window, where no stickers could be found. Her heart sank a bit, knowing that Lena might not answer her question. Come to think of it, Kara still had no idea why Lena was always in that room.

She had made a lot of theories and even asked Alex to join in.

One of the most ridiculous theories they both came up was Lena wasn’t a real person but a robot, who pretended to be human and was assigned to practice communication with human beings.

Then Kara had a theory that Lena was actually the woman who came out of the house and gave Kara water, or occasionally, fruit juice, every day. But that theory failed because on the first day they met, someone was already inside the room and had closed the curtains.

 

***

_“Could she be a ghost?” Kara frantically asked her sister._

_“Maybe, if you count every possibility. Did you say that she turned you down when you asked her out?”_

_Kara groaned, “Yes, please stop reminding me. I thought I was being smooth but turned out to be too forward.”_

_A conspiracy swam in Alex’s eyes. “Another crazy theory: she’s a vampire.”_

_“What?”_

_“Think about it: she doesn't leave the house, someone else always does what she wants and you told me that her hands were pale,” Alex shrugged, “Vampire.”_

_Kara took a moment to consider the possibility and wildly shook her head, “No, that’s silly! S-she can't be a vampire.”_

_“Then why doesn't she leave the house? You’ve been there for a month and you have never seen her out in the sunlight.”_

_Kara pouted and mentally thought about the things she had noticed and reminded her sister, “I asked if she liked hotdog with roasted onions on top, she answered yes! Vampires can’t eat onions.”_

_“It’s garlic, idiot. Vampires can’t eat garlic.”_

_“It’s the same.”_

_“She lied,” Alex gave her an obvious look._

_“You know what? It’s fine. I’d still go out with her even if she’s a vampire,” Kara concluded, dropping her weight on the couch._

_“You’re whipped for someone you haven’t even met,” Alex commented, “What do you know about her besides the common interests?”_

_Kara didn’t answer that. It was irrational, Kara knew, to have feelings for someone whose face she hadn’t seen but she couldn’t stop thinking about the girl behind the window. She wanted to meet her but she doubted that Lena would want that._

_Why?_

_“Hey, have you ever thought that maybe Lena doesn’t want to be seen?” Alex asked again after a few days._

_“Again with the vampire theory, Al?” Kara rolled her eyes and closed the door, “At least wait until I take off my jacket, geez.”_

_“No, I asked Maggie today and she told me that Lena might be one of the people who aren’t confident about something that is a part of her.” Alex jumped onto the couch, “I think that makes sense.”_

_“Well, I don’t care about it,” Kara shortly replied._

_“Maggie also told me something else.”_

_“What is it?”_

_“That maybe Lena isn’t able to leave. She wants to, just look at how she keeps chatting with you every day, Kar. She’d love to but she can’t.”_

_The new theory kept Kara awake the whole night._

 

***

 

She stared at the window. The girl behind it still hadn’t answered yet.

Kara knew that to Lena, she was only a stranger who happened to do her job on the pavement across her house but she wanted to know more about Lena, if she allowed Kara.

_What should I do to have a chance with you?_

Suddenly, the window was lifted up.

Kara couldn’t feel anything else because every inch of her body was concentrating on the pale fingers holding up the wooden frame around the glass window that had never been moved from its spot. The hand retreated inside. Kara noticed how the sunlight had finally been let in, lighting up a small part of the room.

She waited and waited, a second felt like an hour.

And something was thrown out of the window.

A paper plane.

Kara immediately ran to the right, where she guessed the plane would land on. Picking it up, Kara caught some writing on it.

 

_‘I’m very well today, thank you._  
_And I love the dance._

_Lena’_

 

Her mouth dropped open when she saw how beautifully written the words were and when she lifted her head to look at the window again, her heart stopped.

The girl behind the window was there, staring at her, having a real appearance.

The jet black hair, the big round eyes, and the pale skin, all of those features were already carved into Kara’s mind.

_There you are, Stickers._

They didn’t move for a long minute, just being there and gazing at each other, chewing on the very first moment they laid eyes directly on each other.

When Kara found her tongue again, she cleared her throat and said out loud, raising the paper. “Nice handwriting!” Her heart was trying to get out of her chest right now and her voice must be shaking due to the excitement.

_This is it. I can hear her voice._

Lena bit her lip and smiled, holding up a green sticker. Even though Lena didn’t say anything, her lips moved and formed a phrase.

_“Thank you.”_

Kara couldn’t sleep that night again, but with a silly grin on her face.

 

___

 

“I have something for you, Lena.”

She turned around from the desk and quickly pushed whatever she was working on into a corner and put a book on it. Lex was standing at the door frame to her room with one thing in his hand. “Can’t it wait until dinner?”

“Nope, can I come in?” he smirked.

Lena shrugged casually and rolled the chair so that her shoulders would shield her desk from Lex. “I can’t see why not.”

Lex entered the room, giving Lena an examining look. She frowned at him, worrying that her clever brother would try to figure out what she had been doing. Instead, he gave her the little thing on his hand. “Here, take a look.”

Lena opened the bag and took out a little stuffed toy.

A plush toy donut, mimicking the rainbow sprinkles with two arms and two legs sticking out of its body, a blushing smiley face on top.

Blood rushed to Lena’s face as she blinked several times to figure out why Lex gave her this.

She stared at him, gulping. “What is this for? It’s not my birthday.”

“I don’t need an excuse to give my little sister a gift, do I?” Lex replied with mirth.

“But why a donut?” Lena carefully questioned as if she was holding the evidence to a case that she was the criminal.

“Why not? You love dancing donuts, right?” Lex’s smile didn’t falter, he stood up and rubbed her head, “Happy Friday, Lena.”

Lena still didn’t understand any of his doing but the utter happiness of holding a mini Kara in her hand had blurred it all.

She hadn’t known that Lex had asked Jess about the donut incident and then the caretaker had told him about the girl who had opened up Lena’s heart in some way. He hadn’t believed it until he saw the video clip of Lena dancing in her wheelchair, grinning like how she used to do.

And he was intrigued by the mysterious woman in the donut costume.

 

___

 

“A donut, you say?” Lillian Luthor’s eyes opened wide at the information her son had just given her, “Lena likes donuts, it’s not a news.”

“No, Mom, a dancing donut, a person who wears a donut costume and holds a sign.”

“A sign holder? What’s special about a sign holder?”

“Lena seems giggly and happier than usual, right, Mom?” Lillian nodded and Lex continued, “Thanks to this person in the donut costume.”

“Are you sure?” Lillian carefully asked, thinking about how a totally random thing could outdo everything she and Lex had been trying to do.

“Jess gave me this, Mom.” Lex handed her a piece of paper.

When Lillian realized what she was looking at, she gasped, covering her mouth. Tears started filling her eyes as they followed the trace of her beautiful daughter. It was a picture of Lena, standing on her own legs, pushing up the frame to the window of her room. She looked nothing like the sad and helpless girl who always sat in the wheelchair that Lillian had taken home from the hospital.

Lena was bright and joyful. Her little girl was back.

Lillian let her head rest on Lex’s shoulder, sobbing quietly as the employees outside the conference room still had no idea their widow CEO was weeping.

 

___

 

It was raining.

The wet, humid and sticky feeling had woken Lena up in the middle of the night. She sat up and looked at the window, thinking about Kara. She didn’t want Kara to stand in the rain and catch a cold. She didn’t want to find the blonde in the donut costume there when she rolled the wheelchair to the window.

Kara really didn't come.

Lena let out a relieved sigh. But even in the relief for Kara’s health, the youngest Luthor still had a little heavy sting in her chest knowing that she wouldn't see Kara today.

It had become her habit to watch and chat with Kara and she couldn't remember how long it had been from the first day she laid eyes on the blonde. Their conversation had turned into something daily and familiar, she forgot how it had been before this.

She wanted to meet Kara again. Not just throwing paper planes but an actual and direct face-to-face meet. But every time she thought about it, something stopped her.

Lena was afraid.

She was afraid that Kara would no longer find her interesting.

She was afraid that Kara would just want to keep everything between them friendly.

She was afraid that Kara realized that she could never answer ‘yes’ to any date Kara wanted.

She was afraid of many things, things that she hadn't learned enough about to consider in her mind.

But on top of that, she was afraid of leaving the house, leaving her safe place, her prison. Nobody kept her in but she just couldn't go.

Placing her chin on the wrists, Lena almost laid her half top body on the window frame. She watched the raindrops smashing against the window glass, the cold was fighting its way in but Lena’s heart was already colder than the rain itself.

Maybe she should get used to not seeing Kara outside her door because it would happen, sooner or later. And when it did, Lena prayed that she would already be tougher than this.

Lena wouldn't feel this heavy.

The knot in Lena’s throat wouldn't be this big.

Lena wouldn't miss Kara this much.

She blinked in confusion when realization dawned on her.

She missed Kara.

_Oh, good God, what happened to me?_

_How dare I want this? How dare I expect more?_

_I already survived Death, that was enough._

_My luck ends that night._

Lena sat back up and wiped away the tear from her cheek. Looking at the desk, where many paper planes were folded with questions inside, Lena rolled the chair to them and putting them together as a pack, placed them behind a book in the shelf.  
She didn't need to use them today.

However, Lena left one paper plane on the desk. It was filled with words, not a question. A letter.

She had written down her heart, her happiness, sadness and her fears. It was something she wanted Kara to know one day, but right now she felt like if the blonde knew, she would feel pressured into this, into whatever was going on between them.

This letter also represented the impossible. Her wish, her desire and her wanting more after all of the privileges she had gotten. It was life, it was time and it was a second chance. Lena knew it was too late for her to back out from these feelings she felt every day, but not for Kara. To Kara, she was a stranger.

So what if that stranger fell in love with the woman inside a donut costume?

She closed her eyes and shoved the letter paper plane into another book. Too much, too soon. Lena was also the one who had turned Kara down when she asked her out. Who was she to pursue Kara now?

Lena rolled the chair close to the window again, out of habit. The stuffed donut was sitting on the wooden frame, smiling at her. She ran a finger on the soft toy and thought, maybe being friends is enough.

The sky was still weeping, Lena looked outside.

There was a car halting near the spot where Kara always stood. Through the heavy rain, Lena recognized it was a Mustang. Come to think of it, Lena never knew how Kara got here every day. She wondered what Kara drove, or maybe the blonde took a train or a bus. Lena didn't know much about Kara’s background.

She fell in love with someone she didn't know a lot about.

Lena would love to know more about Kara, actually, but if things could only evolve this much, she didn't dare to ask further.

After all, it was an unusual relationship, coming from someone who couldn’t leave and someone who was forced to stay.

The car door opened on the passenger’s side. Lena gasped when she recognized the blonde hair. The pale fingers gripped the window frame, pushing her up further against the glass to see clearer.

It was Kara, she was sure of it.

Kara came, in the rain. She wasn’t wearing any costume today.

Lena quickly opened the window, her hands were the first to get wet due to the heavy rain. 

“Kara! Go home! You’ll get sick!” she called out to Kara but the rain muted her voice. Kara stood there after the car had driven away, looking up at Lena’s window and help up a sign.

 

_**HOW ARE YOU TODAY?** _

 

Lena froze, gawking at the words. Kara’s daily question, every day was presented in front of her as if there wasn’t a thundering rain pouring down from the sky.

_Why did you come?_

She pushed against the frame, left the window open.

_It’s not worth it._

The wheelchair quickly left the room, heading straight for the stairs. Lena stared at the device that Lex had installed and almost had never been used. She could do this.

_I’m not worth it._

If Kara could stand in the rain just to deliver a question, Lena could get downstairs.

Jess was outside to buy some food, if Lena waited for her, Kara would be soaking wet.

Lena took a deep breath and slowly rolled the wheels to the racks, checking back and forth until they were in places. She grabbed the handle and pressed the small button on the wall.

The machine began coming to life. She was startled when the chair was lifted and moved to the air above the staircase. The stairs had only twenty steps, Lena knew because she had counted them many times during the times she accepted not being able to walk, but it looked like a thousand from above.

The final step flew past underneath the wheelchair and the journey ended with a thud. Lena let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding back. Rolling the wheels out from the racks, she felt like she had just finished climbing a mountain.

But no time for celebration, Lena needed to get out of here.

She moved to the corner where her family always put umbrellas in and took one. The long cane was limiting her movement a bit but she didn’t mind. Then she went to the door and stopped.

_I’m leaving the house._

Lena huffed and twisted the handle, feeling the cold drops started invading her space.

_This is it._

She rolled the chair to the smooth sidewalk and let the gravity take it down. There Kara was, standing in the rain, still holding the sign up because she couldn’t see the window clearly through the rain. Lena used all of her might to roll the chair forward, sprinting for the gates.

Water started dripping down her face, her eyes, her neck, her back, her chest. It was cold. When the rain fell onto her thighs, for the first time since the explosion, her thighs acknowledge the cold. They usually felt like burning.

She opened the gates, struggling a bit with the handle of the umbrella.

Now Lena was on the pavement.

Kara was on the other side.

Thirty feet.

They were only thirty feet apart from each other.

She pressed the button for pedestrians. The traffic light turned green, inviting her.

And Lena came forward, her hands got a bit slippery because of the rain. The moisture from nature, from the street, from the rain, from her own clothes, was telling her that she was out in the open, she was not inside her room anymore.

Twenty feet.

Fifteen feet.

Ten feet.

Five feet.

Kara lowered the sign. Kara saw her.

Three feet.

Lena became nervous, but she decided to keep moving forward. She had come this far.

The blonde didn’t move, it seemed like she was waiting. Good, because Lena was coming for her.

One foot.

She looked up at the girl in front of her. She hadn’t expected Kara to be this tall. She hadn’t expected her eyes to be this beautiful. She hadn’t expected her smile to be this bright.

_Oh, God…_

Kara stepped forward, shielding Lena’s head with the sign. The way she crouched down kicked Lena’s heart to her throat. Now her face was even closer to Lena’s. Crap.

“Hey,” Lena muttered, her eyes felt stung. Tears were falling out but thanked the rain, Kara wouldn’t see them. “Donut Head.”

Kara laughed. Gosh, that was one of the best sounds she had ever heard. No, it was the best sound. “Hey there, Stickers.”

Lena gave her the umbrella. Even though they were both soaking wet, Kara still took and opened the umbrella then held it above their heads. Kara now sat on her heels, gazing deeply into Lena’s eyes, a gentle smile spread on her pink lips. “Why do you still come today?”

“I had a feeling that you’d miss me,” Kara cheekily answered, making Lena blush.

_I do._

“Confident, much?” Lena taunted back and offered a hand, “Nice to meet you.”

Kara took her hand, carefully wrapped her long fingers around Lena’s cold hand. The warmth that somehow was secured even under the heavy rain alerted Lena’s heart that this was the first time they actually touched.

“Nice to meet you, finally.”

Zero feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see many of you are hoping for a sequel or another chapter. It will have chapter 2, just not right now. I'll return later :))


	2. Sick Dunkers Toilets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of their story ft. Fluff and Light Angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm writing chapter 2 :))
> 
> I actually didn't plan to continue because the ending from the previous chapter was perfect and I was afraid that the update might not live up to your expectations.
> 
> I honestly didn't expect to have anyone crying over the first chapter but I'm glad it made you guys feel something.
> 
> I hope you'd love this chapter anyway.
> 
> The Supergirl 3x10 nearly destroyed my mood but somehow I was able to finish the update. 
> 
> I don't own any character, only the mistakes. (I wrote on the phone so, no beta)
> 
> Enjoy and ready your dentist appointments cuz I'll rot your teeth :D
> 
> Oh wait, can anyone guess why I name the chapter with that? Wanna know the answer? Read.

Kara had thought she was dreaming when she saw the girl behind the window no longer being behind the window anymore. Her jet-black hair was dampened under the rain. Her bright and round eyes bored into Kara’s mind, just like the first time Kara had seen her. Her pale skin seemed even paler than last time, must be because of the cold.

Everything about Lena captured Kara’s attention from the moment she realized Lena was approaching to her. On a wheelchair. In the heavy rain.

Lena could have done this any other sunny day.

But she picked the first rainy day of the summer to come to life, making Kara’s every dream about meeting her become a bad copycat. Nothing compared to this.

Her heart. Oh, her heart.

The cold of the rain had blurred the crazy rhythm inside her chest, bringing it to a notch that Kara had never experienced before. This was very new, very fresh and overwhelming. She loved it.

She had frozen on her feet when Lena was close. The first thing she could think of was the fact that Lena was in the rain so she tried to shield her with the already wet cardboard, which was a stupid idea, but forgive her, she didn’t have a single brightness in her mind because she was lost in Lena’s eyes.

Lord, they were extraordinary.

The way they seemingly grew larger in curious had Kara at the first strike. Kara couldn't help herself, she grinned like an idiot.

And Lena was very brutal, like she had no idea how big of a mess she had made Kara, she opened her lips and let out a simple word.

“Hey.”

Lena’s voice was low, probably because she didn't say it loud but Kara could imagine the word by the way her lips moved. She was paying a lot attention to them.

Then Lena called her ‘Donut Head’. Kara almost burst into tears when she felt the endearing tone caressing her face. Lena was a pale girl but everything about her radiated warmth with rich emotion swimming in her gorgeous green eyes.

If Lena had a nickname for her, Kara didn't mind to reveal what she used to call the brunette in her mind. “Hey there, Stickers.”

Everything happened after that, Kara swore that time had slowed down. The raindrops were carefully avoiding them and the cold had disappeared. She sensed that heat running from Lena’s blush to every inch on her body.

They talked. They really did talk. Quite normally, to Kara’s surprise, as if they had known each other longer than the times they were always a street apart.

Thirty feet. They had always been thirty feet apart. Now they were only an arm away. Yet nothing felt weird, or unusual.

It felt right.

It felt God damn right.

It felt right even when Lena kindly asked Kara to come into her house to get away from the rain and it felt right that Kara accepted it without a question.

For the first time, Kara walked through the vined gates she had noticed forever, holding the umbrella over their heads, mostly Lena, because Kara was soaking already. They came to the front door, where Lena had left open.

The warmth stroke Kara’s skin nicely, painting a huge contrast to the freezing rain outside and sending goosebumps all across her shoulders. “Woah,” she said in awe, eyeing the furniture placed along the hall, “your house is beautiful.”

Lena rolled her chair to the fireplace, rubbing her hands together when she was close enough. “Please put the umbrella in the corner and join me here before you get a cold,” the girl in the wheelchair softly asked, her voice was vibrating and Kara could tell that she was feeling cold.

Kara did what was told, then took off her jacket and squeezed it on the porch. Closing the door, she brought it to the fireplace and stood not too far away from Lena. She opened her hands to the glaring heat from the fire, letting out a sigh of content. “Ah… This is amazing.”

Lena didn’t reply with anything, and the silence took over. It got a bit awkward and Kara mentally slapped herself for not being able to come up with a good theme to talk about.

Suddenly, Lena chuckled, throwing her a glance.

Kara was caught off-guard with the smile and had a mini heart-attack. _Calm down. Calm down._

“What’s so funny?” she asked with a confused chuckle, “Is there something on my face?”

Lena shook her head, biting her lip before speaking, “This is weird. I can't think of anything to say. You must think I’m boring.”

“What? I’m afraid you think _I’m_ boring because I usually come up with questions and now my mind is blank,” Kara laughed because Lena was worrying about the same thing she was.

“You’re never boring, Kara,” Lena said and her cheeks brightened. She scratched her neck awkwardly, then proceed to roll her chair backward, “I’ll just… get something for you. Which would you prefer, tea or coffee?”

_You._

Kara mentally slapped herself.

_No, that’s cringy. And don't creep her out._

“Coffee, please.” She followed Lena but halted at the door frame. She didn't want to be intrusive. Lena moved herself to the counters and pulled open a few drawers, then apologetically looked back at Kara. “Do you need any help?” she asked, not stepping in before given permission. Kara had a feeling that Lena might not appreciate unwanted assistance.

“Yes,” the brunette admitted, rolling the chair back a pointed at a counter far up in the right corner of the room, “we still have regular coffee and Jess is out to get some more but I remember my mother always has her stack of good coffee there.”

Kara opened the counter and took a bag of ground coffee out, inhaling the rich aroma of the exquisite drink. “Woah, this smells good.” She turned around and gave Lena the bag. “You know, I’d still be happy with regular coffee.”

“No, you’re my guest. You deserve the best,” Lena smiled again and Kara’s heart sped up once more.

Then Kara leaned against the island in the middle of the kitchen, watching Lena making coffee. She seemed familiar with the task even though she had to go through the counters again to find sugar.

“Do you live here with your family?” Kara asked after sipping the coffee. It was really good, really hot and the taste was marvellous. “God, this is going to make my future coffee into water. So good!”

Lena giggled from the other side of the island, sipping her own cup. “I know, right? And yes, I live with my mother, and my brother.”

Kara tilted her head, curious. “What about Jess? Is that the woman who always delivers drinks to me?”

“Yes. She’ll be back soon,” Lena said, rubbing the body of her cup, “I suppose you have more questions. Don't hesitate.” Her head dipped down a bit, as if she was shy. 

Kara’s eyes flickered at Lena’s legs and then back up at the green eyes. “Only when you’re comfortable.” Lena nodded, giving Kara the reassurance. “I used to wonder why you're always in that room. And I had some silly theories.”

One of Lena’s brow raised. It was such a look on her that Kara wasn't prepared to encounter. And the result was the heat running to Kara’s cheeks. “Yes…?”

The blonde hummed awkwardly, “Well, you might be a ghost or a prankster. Then you might be a humanoid robot. Or a vampire.”

An amused smirk stretched Lena’s lips but she quickly erased it by sipping her cup. Then she licked her lips to wipe off the coffee, warming Kara up in a way that didn't involve coffee. “And you’re not afraid? What if I’m a real vampire and I just successfully lured you into my lair?”

Kara grinned and shrugged, “Then I’m yours. But before finishing me off, can you tell me that all of the other vampires are beautiful, or that’s just you?”

Lena rolled her eyes but her lips couldn't help a smile. “Okay, I’m not a vampire so I can't answer that. And I know the coffee is great but you don't have to flatter me for it.”

Kara raised one hand and stood straight like a girl scout. “I only tell the truth.” Lena chuckled, slightly shaking her head.

“Well, then I’ll tell the truth, too. You look better than I expected without the costume today, Donut Head,” the girl in wheelchair said teasingly.

“You should see me out of costume more often then.” Kara leaned half of her body on the island, sending Lena a knowing look. “How about this weekend? You and me.”

 

___

 

Lena’s brain came to a complete halt.

She stared at Kara, mouth dropped open like an idiot who suddenly lost her ability to speak.

_Did she just ask me out? Again?_

Kara was still looking at her with those hopeful and waiting eyes. Lena didn't get it. What if Kara just wanted to hang out? Between friends?

“Are you… serious?” she blurted out when she found her tongue again.

The blue eyes widened in surprise. “Of course! Why would I be joking about this? I want to go out with you.”

“I… can't.”

Lena immediately felt like an ass for refusing Kara again but this time, she had to face the sad puppy eyes that the thirty-feet-distance had covered that up the first time.

“Why not?”

Lena took a deep breath to calm herself down. “You see me like this, and you _still_ want to go out with me?”

Kara stood up straight, blinking several times before gazing down at Lena’s legs again. That look. Lena didn't know if it was a look of compassion or pity. She desperately hoped it wasn’t the latter but she was so nervous to think right now. She was nothing like Kara had imagined and the blonde was kind enough to not show the disappointment but Lena really didn't dare to wish further. Although, she wanted to be positive, there was always something that stood behind her and told her that every deed of kindness had sprayed pity perfume on it.

“Like what?” Kara asked, without an ounce of joke or sarcasm. “You look fine in sweater and sweatpants.”

Lena squinted her eyes at the blonde in front of her. She rolled the chair around the table and came close to Kara. “I can't walk. Doesn't that bother you?”

She said it. She had finally said it. Her fear.

It sounded like she was begging for pity. It sounded pathetic, Lena was fully aware of that.

But here was Kara’s chance, her way out. Lena didn't want to get caught in the moment and walked into something that one day Kara would become tired and try to get out.

Her heart wouldn't be able to stand another loss.

Kara stared down at her and slowly crouched down until their eyes were at the same level. “I would still want to go out with you, with or without the chair. So please, only turn me down if you have absolutely no interest in me.” Then Kara’s eyes flickered to the side for a second and the blonde added, “and do it gently because I'm quite interested in you, Stickers.”

The stupid tears began to form in her eyes again. What were these feelings running from her chest to every other part of her body right now? 

Lena knew what her heart wanted. Kara just needed her to be honest with it. In such a cute way.

_God dammit Donut Head._

“Ask me again,” she said, hoping her voice didn't break due to the knot in her throat.

Kara smiled kindly, “Lena, would you go out with me?” Her knees faintly brushed over Lena’s, creating a soft contact that made the brunette blush.

“Of course.”

 

___

 

“You’re grinning like an idiot.”

“Shut up, Alex.” Kara tugged the hem of her shirt inside the waistband of her jeans and looked around for the belt. She found it and put it on, then turned to her sister, “Well?”

“That looks nice. Where are you taking her?” Alex flipped over on the bed, chewing some snacks.

“Somewhere she can have fun.”

“Ooh,” Alex cooed.

“Not that kind of fun,” Kara rolled her eyes and fixed the collar for the seventieth time, “I like her, I really do. I’ll make this right for her.”

“So, ‘have fun’ huh?” her sister hummed and then gasped, giving Kara an accusing look, “You dirty! That’s like cheating! Cheating on your first date, I can't believe you.”

Kara throw a pillow at her sister, huffing. “Would you stop that? Where do you think I’m taking her?”

“To where you worked after high school,” Alex victoriously claimed and Kara couldn't believe her sister figured it out.

“Fine, yes, there. Happy?” Kara took the jacket and opened the door, “You better not still be here when I get back tonight.”

Alex sat up with a grin, “You’re taking her home too?”

“It’s not what you think. Just in case she agrees to visit here.” Kara glared at the older Danvers, warning. “I don't even know if we’d have a second date.”

“You’re really into this girl, woah,” Alex commented with a more serious tone. “Good luck.”

“Thanks. Now stop spreading crumbs on my bed.”

The door slammed shut.

 

___

 

Lena knew being nervous.

She had been nervous before.

Nothing compared to this moment.

It was even more nerve-wracking than telling her family that she would go out with someone they hadn't met. She had caught the way her mother gasped in shock and her brother’s eyes nearly fell out of the sockets last night, when she told them she had a date.

 

***

 

_“You have a what?” Lex spoke first, standing up from his seat, the knife was still plugged into the steak, “With whom?”_

_Lena sat straighter and sent her mother a glance. Lillian scoffed at her brother, “Sit down, Lex, and let your sister finish.” Her voice softened when she spoke to Lena but she could feel that it sounded a bit shaking. “When will this date happen, dear?”_

_She swallowed and answered, “This weekend, Mom. She’ll come here and take me.”_

_“Oh, it’s a ‘she’,” Lex commented with amusement, “Tell me more about her.”_

_So Lena awkwardly explained the situation of how Kara and her had met and noticed the way her mother and brother paid extra attention to every word. Unconsciously, she tried to avoid further questions so that her heart wouldn't fail right on the spot._

_“Kara sounds like a nice girl,” Lillian said after exchanging a discreet look with Lex, “I’d love to meet her.”_

_“Me too,” Lex smirked and grabbed his knife with the steak still stuck around it, “Let her know she shouldn't mess with the Luthors.”_

_Lena facepalmed, wiping her face. “Oh, please no. If you embarrass me in front of Kara…”_

_“Of course not!” Lex gasped, raising a hand, “I would never embarrass my own sister in front of her date. Luthor's honor.”_

 

***

 

Lex kept his words.

He hadn't been too strict with Kara the moment she pressed the doorbell and warmingly let the blonde in. Lex didn't embarrass her.

Her mother did.

When she came downstairs after getting ready, Lillian was taking Kara’s picture. Lex was the one to help her with the wheelchair and Jess helped her with dressing up. It had been forever since she last got herself ready to go out with anyone and she didn't trust her own skills anymore. 

“Mom! What are you doing?” she frantically asked, hoping Kara wouldn't feel weird. Behind her, Lex and Jess were snickering. 

“Taking pictures, what else?” her mother grinned widely and raised her camera at Lena, “Say cheese!”

Lena caught Kara biting her lips to hide a smile and rolled the chair to the standing blonde and told her, “You can still bolt out of here right now, Kara. Save yourself.”

Kara laughed, “Aw, but I can’t leave you.” She turned to Lex and offered a hand. “Good morning, you must be Lena’s brother. My name is Kara Danvers. Nice to meet you.”

Lena took the time to observe Kara. She was wearing a simple white shirt and jeans, and they suited her so well. Her eyes lingered a bit longer at the pockets hugging Kara’s curves when the blonde turned to greet Jess. She suddenly felt a bit exposed and darted her eyes away and stared at Lillian. Her mother was raising two thumbs up and mouthing ‘I like her’.

_Oh my God…_

“Have fun. Don't pass curfew!” Lex knowingly said through the lowered window after he had carried Lena into Kara’s car. She was feeling utterly embarrassed because of what her brother was implying and pressed the button to rolled up the window.

“I will kill him,” she muttered, not looking at Kara just yet.

“Don’t. He’s cool. I like your family,” Kara said with a chuckle.

Lena stole a glance at the blonde and held her breath. They were now alone in a limited space. She could smell the scent of shampoo from Kara’s hair. She could see the way Kara tied her hair up into a ponytail. She could see folds of Kara’s jeans imprinting her fit figure. She could see the little scar on Kara’s left eyebrow.

Everything that created Kara was being multiplied a thousand times, beating up her senses and composure to leave her as a mess.

“Where are we going?” she asked quickly when Kara’s eyes caught hers.

“I want to surprise you,” the blonde smirked, “but first, you look beautiful.”

The direct and simple compliment caught Lena off-guard and she knew her face must be as red as a tomato. The brunette awkwardly cleared her throat and stuttered as if she was speaking a new language, “T-thanks. You’re not too bad yourself. I mean, yeah, you're-”, clearing her throat again, “-the opposite of ugly.”

If Lena could, she would opened the door and bolted back inside her house. And she would stay there forever.

_‘The opposite of ugly’. What’s wrong with you, Lena?_

Kara tilted her head, grinning widely, which only made Lena want to dig a hole. “That should be a quote.”

“Stop.” Lena covered her face, “I swear I don't always sound like an idiot.”

“Are you nervous?” The voice asked with concern.

Lena split her fingers to let her eyes look at Kara. “Yes.”

Kara let out a relieved chuckle. “Good. Because I’m nervous as hell, too.”

Lena let her hands drop in her lap. “No way. You look so calm and well-put.”

Kara slightly shook her head and extended her hands toward Lena. “Touch them.”

Lena reached out and grabbed Kara’s fingers. She gasped when the vibration was acknowledged. “Oh… You’re shaking.”

Kara smiled shyly and slowly retreated one hand to reach for something in the backseat. Lena enjoyed the thought that Kara didn't want to completely pull her hands away from her grasp and purposefully let one hand rest inside Lena’s palm. “I was so nervous I forgot to bring you this earlier.”

The blonde picked up a little bouquet and gave Lena. “I-I didn't know what kind of flowers you would like or if you even liked flowers or not so…”

The bouquet was small and delicate, had about eight or nine large white roses and a red one in the middle, standing out. They looked incredibly beautiful and Lena stared at them in awe. She took the bouquet and touched the petals, feeling the rough and sharp edges. These weren't real roses.

“Are they made of paper?” Lena asked in surprise.

Kara scratched her neck, nodding. “They seemed easy to make on Youtube...”

Lena’s heart flipped wildly like a grasshopper. “Y-you made these?”

“Yeah. Do you like them?” Blue eyes innocently grew wider.

Lena couldn't help herself a goofy smile. “Absolutely.”

Inside the Luthors’ house, three pairs of eyes were watching the small vehicle intensely like a pack of wolves, wondering why the heck it took the pair so long to start the freaking car.

 

___

 

 

Kara picked up the folded wheelchair from the trunk and unfolded it then pushed it toward Lena’s side of the car. The door was open and the brunette already had her legs dangling outside the seat.

Lena was wearing an adorable light pink blouse with little purple dots and a pair of black pants that looked comfortable enough for her legs. She wore simple white sandals and Kara loved the little ribbons right around her ankles. She looked so effortlessly beautiful that Kara couldn't believe they were actually on a date together.

“Do you need any help?” she asked when Lena reached for the handle to lift herself up.

“Just push the chair over. I got this,” the brunette said. Kara did what was asked and stood close, just in case Lena needed anything. After a few failed attempts, Lena successfully seated herself in the wheelchair. Kara let out a relieved breath she was holding. Looking up at Kara, Lena apologetically said, “Sorry, I rarely do this on my own.”

“It’s okay. We have time. We have the whole day,” Kara smiled down and waited for Lena to roll the chair back and closed the door. “Come with me.”

Kara didn't let Lena follow. She walked next to her, taking long and slow steps so that she could explain to her what they were going to do.

“You used to work here?” Lena asked as they entered the building.

“Yeah, my friend Lucy worked here for her family and she took a gap year to travel so I filled the spot to pay for college.” Kara gestured a long hall and they both went in that direction.

“What was your position?” The brunette’s hands continued to roll the wheels, looking at Kara. The blonde was glad Lena missed the signs pinned on the board right behind her back. She wanted to give Lena a surprise today.

“Helping at the cafeteria, not too important,” she smiled and then found the door to the backyard. “There.”

“Are we allowed to be in here?” Lena asked when they went through the door.

Kara grinned, “Don't worry. Close your eyes, I’m going to take your somewhere.”

“Don't kidnap me,” Lena chuckled, closing her eyes.

Kara gripped the handle of the wheelchair and gently pushed it forward, heading straight to the garden, where Lena’s surprises were waiting for her.

 

___

 

Lena was really curious about where Kara was taking her. The chair was moved forward for a while and Kara didn't say anything. The sunlight sprayed on her face, her head and her entire body, warming up the atmosphere. She recognized the smell of grass, of dirt and something else.

The chair stopped moving.

Lena was about to open her eyes when she heard Kara’s instruction, “Keep your eyes close and don't freak out. I’m right here.”

The soft warning sent a little fear into Lena’s chest, but she trusted Kara. So she sat and waited.

Something was approaching her. The unfamiliar scent had told her about it. There was rapid breathing on her left side. Then another one from her right. And at the front. Everywhere. Her feet got in touch with something furry, startling her. 

“Kara?” she asked, fairly realized her surroundings.

“Okay, open your eyes.”

The first thing appeared in her sight was a Labrador, sniffing on her feet. Another dog was looking at her in curiosity. There was another one, and another one. Actually, they were all dogs of many kinds, surrounding her.

“Oh my God…” she murmured, reaching out to pet a German Shepard. Lena turned around and saw Kara was smiling down at her.

“They like you,” the blonde commented, “I’m not surprised. Come on, I’ll introduce you to my squad. Everyone, this is Lena. Lena, this is Robert, Eggo, Popper…”

Lena had never had so much fun in her entire life. She couldn't even recall the last time she had stomach ache due to laughing and her jaws were sore for grinning so hard. The dogs were so friendly and energetic, whenever Kara pushed the wheelchair, they ran after, barking loudly and a Dachshund puppy even jumped onto her lap and decided to stay there until lunch. He scratched Lena’s left hand every time she stopped rubbing his back and she couldn’t resist his puppy eyes.

“Lena, you’re spoiling Butterscotch,” Kara complained with a grin when they rested under a tree because the sun was getting harsher.

“Come on, look at him,” Lena picked Butterscotch up, squeezing her cheek against his face, “Can you say ‘no’ to this?”

Kara’s eyes flickered at Lena’s for a second and darted away. “I guess you have a point.”

“I didn’t expect you to bring me to a dog rescuing center,” Lena placed Butterscotch back on her lap, scratching his nose. “I had a lot of fun. Thank you.”

Kara looked up from where she was sitting on the grass and raised a finger. “Hold up, I have something to show you.”

The blonde got on her feet and ran inside. A few minutes later, she returned with an ukulele on her hand. Suddenly, Butterscotch jumped out of Lena’s lap and sprinted to Kara, yelping happily, hopping on his little feet.

“You can play that?” Lena asked, amused, watching the blonde sat back down with Butterscotch’s front paws on her thigh.

“Once I figured out the dogs love music, a song would help calming them down.” Kara readied her fingers on the strings, taking a deep breath. “Excuse my horrible voice.”

Kara began strumming gently on the strings, Butterscotch’s butt wiggled excitedly, making Lena laugh.

_‘Hey ey, hey ey ey ey, hey ey ey ey…_

_Your lipstick stains_  
_On the front lobe of my left side brains_  
_I knew I wouldn’t forget you_  
_And so I went and let you blow my mind’_

The other dogs started gathering up around Kara quietly, their eyes gawking straight at Kara in awe.

_‘Your sweet moonbeam_  
_The smell of you_  
_In every single dream I dream’_

Suddenly Kara’s eyes met with Lena’s. A wide smile blossomed on both of their faces.

_‘I knew when we collided_  
_You’re the one I have decided_  
_Who’s one of my kind’_

The fresh feeling of a newly founded base of her life had fueled something in Lena, she began to sing along with Kara. At first, she mouthed the words, then, with the wordless encouragement coming from the gleam in Kara’s eyes, Lena Luthor sang for dogs.

_‘Hey, soul sister_  
_Ain't that Mr. Mister_  
_On the radio, stereo_  
_The way you move ain't fair you know_  
_Hey, soul sister_  
_I don't wanna miss_  
_A single thing you do tonight.’_

The joyful melody echoed across the garden, sweeping from one dog to another. They silently watched the humans falling for each other among the strumming, the words describing the admiration from the singer to their muse and everything bathed in the cool shadow of the oak tree above their heads. It was a beautiful moment and it marked the beginning of something extraordinary in both of the women’s life, whether they realized that or not.

Lena had no idea she was duetting with the person who would fill the missing piece she needed in her soul.

 

___

 

Lillian and Lex couldn't help notice the way Lena snuck her phone out during dinner to continue texting with Kara while grinning happily like a kid given a new toy. It had been weeks since their date and they secretly made a bet on whether or not Kara would ask Lena out again.

Lillian actually didn't care if she lost. Her little girl was definitely falling in love and watching Lena drown in the bliss of romance had already satisfied the widow. She couldn't even imagined Lena smiling just a few months ago and she didn't dare to disturb Lena’s coping with the death of her friends.

Now, finally, she had some hope.

Lex always teased his sister until she had to throw something at him, like how they always did before the explosion. He didn't ask for much, he just wanted to know that Lena was being happy and enjoying her life as much as possible.

The first time Lena joined Lillian for shopping again happened a week after the date and the Luthor women didn't come home till very late.

A few days after that, Lena and Lex played their favorite video games and Lex didn't mind it when Lena won because he loved to see Lena’s smug smile.

Lena’s room became brighter. She started decorating it in her own style. Kara had come over and helped her with the painting. Lex was about to offer his hand but backed down as soon as he saw the way Lena checked Kara out.

Lex had teased her with that for three days.

Jess had been noticing Lena. She told Lillian and Lex that Lena had no longer felt the pain of her skin easily like before. It was like something magical had come and filled Lena with courage.

Courage to start over.

Lena began to practice dressing herself all alone.

Lena reopened the books about science that had been forgotten on the shelf.

Lena looked at the crutches more often.

The second date happened. Movie.

The third date. Picnic.

The fourth, the fifth, the sixth… Nobody was counting anymore.

Kara Danvers patiently and slowly walked into Lena's life and just like that, she had put something in everyone’s life as well.

 

___

 

“Let’s make some pancakes.”

Lena looked up from the book she had been reading silently on Kara’s couch. It had been a month since Kara got the job at the most famous bakery in National City: Noonan’s and everytime Lena came over, Kara always treated her with a new recipe. Reading a book was always Lena’s pick to wait until Kara came back from the supermarket.

“Pancakes for dinner?” Lena arched an eyebrow.

The blonde strolled into the apartment, placing the bags on the kitchen counter. “It’s never too late for pancakes, Lena.”

The brunette chuckled, slightly shaking her head. “You and your rules.”

Still, Lena joined Kara in the kitchen a few minutes later.

“I’m going to make them fluffy,” Kara declared confidently, her hand constantly whisking the flour.

“You always make fluffy pancakes,” Lena cracked the second egg into a bowl, “which is cute.”

Kara stole a glance at her, blushing a bit. Lena sometimes teased the blonde, once they were comfortable together. She didn't think she would ever do that to anyone again but Kara always gave her a secure feeling, boosting up her confidence.

Not that Kara never teased her.

Just not always with words.

Kara was a tactical person, she often unknowingly touched Lena in a way that always made her flustered.

Just like the first time they held hands.

 

***

 

_“Can you show me how to do it?” Lena asked the blonde after she had sung for Lena another song while playing the ukulele she had at home. It was the first time Lena came to Kara’s apartment. Kara had put the pizzas into the stove and they were chilling on the couch to kill the time._

_“Sure,” Kara excitedly answered and quickly scooted over to sit right next to Lena. She was startled by the sudden closeness but Kara’s face didn't show any ill will, only paid attention to Lena’s hands. She tried to calm down and focused on Kara’s instructions rather than thinking that it was the first time they had been so physically close like this. Lena deliberately forced her nose to ignore the familiar shampoo scent from Kara’s hair, or her eyes to pretend that Kara’s shoulder wasn't pressing against hers. “Here, try using your index finger and press… there.”_

_Lena did exactly that and Kara strummed all of the strings. “Woah, did I do that?”_

_“Yep. That’s C major. And now we’re doing G major. It’s a bit tricky,” Kara demonstrated by pressing index finger, middle finger and ring finger on three strings, then strummed the ukulele again. The sound was beautifully neat, it made Lena smile for no reason. “It’s your turn.”_

_Lena was said to be smart and she wanted to impress Kara by learning how to play this instrument well. She set a mental target to do it perfectly on the first try. Her right hand strummed the strings and it sounded horrible. “What? I did exactly what you did.”_

_Kara chuckled, settling herself a bit backward so that her left arm could wrap around Lena’s and placed her three fingers over the brunette’s clumsy ones. “Your fingers are in the right place but they have to press down without interfering with other strings.”_

_The blonde casually applied force onto Lena’s fingers, making them push against the frets and the strings digging deep into her skin. Lena carefully observed, collecting experience even though she was feeling the sharp ache right on the tips of her fingers. She strummed the ukulele. It sounded exactly like when Kara did it. “Nice.”_

_“See? You’re natural,” Kara commented, smiling with pride._

_“Ouch,” Lena pulled her left hand back and saw how there were imprints of the string on each tip of her fingers._

_“Let me see,” Kara gently wrapped her hands around the throbbing tips, using her thumbs to rub tenderly on them. Then she said something, “ **‘Pain, pain, go away, come again another day. Little Lena wants to play, pain, pain go away’**.”_

That got Lena laughing. Kara glanced at her in surprise. “That’s a nursery rhythm song, right? Isn't it supposed to be ‘rain, rain, go away’?” 

_The blonde still rubbed her thumbs on the tips, pouting. “My mom always said that every time I got hurt. Don't laugh…”_

_“I’m sorry,” Lena used her right palm to wipe away the tears, “that was so cute.”_

_Kara smirked, “It helps, too. Do you still feel pain?” She seemed confident that this method would actually reduce physical damage._

_Lena sighed out the last urge to laugh and her breath got stuck in her throat as soon as she realized her hand was still wrapped inside Kara’s hot palms. “I…” she trailed off, forgetting what Kara had asked._

_The blonde didn't see it at first, then she let out an ‘oh’ and shyly brought one hand to her neck and the other one back on her lap. “Sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.”_

_Lena’s hand was still in the air where Kara’s hand left earlier. The warmth on her skin, she still felt it clearly. She loved that warmth. “I don't mind,” she told the blonde, “Holding hands with you. I don't. Mind, I mean.”_

_Lena could feel that she began stuttering again. Great. Right at this moment. Smooth._

_“Really?”.Kara timidly asked and slowly reached out with her right hand. Lena nodded and held her breath when each of the blonde’s fingers slipped in between hers, filling up the warmth again. The palms faced each other, closer and closer as the fingers curled inward, bringing them together. “Your hand is really soft,” Kara commented, smiling._

_Lena didn't know what to say just yet, she was still overwhelmed by the touch. “Your hand is so warm.”_

_“Because your hand is cold.” Kara wrapped her other hand on the back of Lena’s palm. “Better?”_

_“A little bit,” she admitted._

_Suddenly, Kara crouched forward and blew her hot breath on Lena’s knuckles. The gesture sent goosebumps all over Lena’s arm and back. “How about now?”_

_The only way to describe what Lena was feeling right now was a balloon of immense joy and happiness being blown inside her chest. When she thought she couldn't handle that much, it turned out that she was able to. She felt stronger, bolder and more capable when she knew Kara was waiting for her response. “Much better,” Lena whispered._

_The timer at the stove went off. Lena heard Kara grunting in disapproval and also let out a disappointed sigh. She really wanted to hold Kara hand longer but that wouldn't just happen right now._

_“I’ll be right back,” Kara said, squeezing her fingers around Lena’s hand before gingerly let it go._

_As soon as Kara turned away, Lena realized something. They could have still be holding hands if Lena could stand up and walk with Kara._

_If Lena could walk._

_She was brooding a bit on the couch about how it would be cute if she could just casually go to where Kara was standing and take her hand. It was a simple thing to do. But if she wanted to do that, she would have to move herself into the wheelchair._

_Suddenly, she didn't want to use it anymore._

_When Kara returned to the couch later on, she took Lena’s hand again. Then they watched a movie together, ate pizza while their hands intertwined for the rest of the night._

***

“These pancakes are going to be even more fluffy than before!” Kara claimed when she placed a lid over the pan after pouring the batter in. “Squishy like baby butt.” 

Lena laughed at Kara’s comparison, rolling the chair to the counter. She opened a drawer to get two knives for both of them. “Just don’t make them look like butt and I’ll be fine.” Kara gave her a look as if Lena had given her a great idea. “No. Don’t do that.” 

“It’d be fun! And cute! And squishy!” Kara teased. 

“Noooo! You’re so weird!” Lena laughed, scrunching her nose, continuing setting the table. 

Kara walked to her and pressed her index finger on the plate Lena was about to take to gain her attention. The brunette looked up and lifted an eyebrow. “Is it as weird as ‘sick dunkers toilets’?” 

Lena laughed at the phrase that held a significant meaning to both of them and leaned against the backrest. Kara crouched down, placing her hands on the arms of Lena’s wheelchair and gazed down at her. She licked her lips, feeling the heat running to her face everytime she was so close to Kara. “You mentioned that on purpose.” 

“I don't know what are you talking about,” Kara shrugged innocently. 

___ 

She definitely knew what she was talking about. 

Kara always wanted to mention that phrase because, even though it was ridiculous, it marked one of her most happy moments in life. 

It was when Kara decided to tell Lena how she felt about her and wanted to make things official. They had gone out many dates, her feelings were solid and she was sure about them. 

Kara hadn’t plan to just plainly say it, she made cupcakes with a letter on each, arranging them into what she wanted to tell Lena. 

Sixteen cupcakes. Sixteen letters. 

She had been so sure that Lena would figure it out. 

Then Lena presented to her the cupcakes lining up to create the phrase ‘SICK DUNKERS TOILETS’. 

Kara hadn’t known whether to laugh or to cry because she wanted to be romantic and cute but this ruined the mood. 

*** 

_“Wait, that isn’t right?” Lena asked so when Kara rearranged the cupcakes again. She stepped aside to let Lena look when she finished. The brunette gasped and looked up at her with a grin. “ **‘DONUT LIKES STICKERS’**?”_

_Kara didn't trust herself to talk so she nodded, her face was burning with embarrassment from the failed attempt to surprise Lena. Pouting, she sat down next to the brunette on the couch._

_Lena seemed to notice something on the table and said, “Oh, wait, that’s still odd. I’ll fix it.”_

_“What?” she watched as Lena quickly rearranged the cupcakes once again. When the brunette leaned back to reveal what she had done, Kara’s mouth dropped._

_**‘STICKERS LIKES DONUT’** _

_Her heart beat like a machine gun inside her chest when she turned to Lena, who was gazing at her with matching blush on her cheeks. “I think this is the correct answer.”_

_Kara didn't reply to that, she leaned forward quickly and then halted when their faces were close enough that Lena must understand what she was about to do. Green eyes opened wide in front of her, flustered and confused._

_“How dare you ruined my game?” she whispered, eyeing Lena’s trembling lips, “I’m going to punish you for that, Stickers.”_

_Lena blinked, her breathing became quicker. Kara held her breath as Lena tilted her head. The brunette craned her neck, bringing her face even closer to Kara. “Are you threatening me, Donut Head?”_

_They both moved forward and melted into the contact as soon as their lips touched, their eyes closed. Kara smiled into the kiss, gently brought her hands up to cup Lena’s face. Her neck was warmed up under Lena’s palms, her fingers caressing the hairline on the back of her head, sending goosebumps all over her. She licked across the brunette’s lips, as if she was waiting desperately to deepen the kiss. When Lena opened her mouth, the world was left out of Kara’s system. Now, she only cared about the girl in front of her and their moment._

_Lena kissed like how she was. Calm, tender but attentively._

_Kara, on the other hand, was a bit eager and excited, she stole Lena’s air. When Kara realized that, she tried to slow down and regretfully pulled back a bit, resting her head against Lena’s._

_“Sorry,” she said through the panting, “I got carried away.”_

_Lena chuckled breathily, “I can keep up.”_

_And the intimacy began again._

*** 

Now Lena was looking up at her, licking her lips. 

It had been a few weeks since they had that first kiss on the couch but the memory never faded because she always wanted to repeat it with Lena. 

At this moment, she couldn't think about anything else but. 

“Don't play dumb,” Lena teased, her eyes twinkling a gleam of amusement, “I know that look.” 

“What look?” Kara replied with mirth. 

The girl in wheelchair didn't answer right away, she hooked her finger around the collar of Kara’s T-shirt and pulled her down. Kara had been waiting so she easily met Lena’s lips like they were the puzzle piece for hers. They kissed slowly, taking their sweet time in the bubble of their own world. Kara loved it that she didn't need to think about anything else except Lena’s warmth against her. 

The first fluffy pancake of the night burned so bad. 

___ 

“Jess, can I ask you something?” Lena talked to her caretaker, who was preparing the breakfast while Lena was making coffee for both. 

“Sure, what is it, Miss Luthor?” 

“How much of a chance I have to be able to walk again?” 

Jess gawked at her, surprised but she ultimately smiled, “That depends. Do you want to know exactly? We can go to the doctor.” 

Lena hummed thoughtfully. “I haven't thought about it but lately my legs are sore. I’m afraid…” She didn't want to finish the sentence because it was too much to even do that, when she was thinking about walking. The pain from the previous therapy still haunted her. 

Jess crouched down and looked into her eyes, her voice was full of compassion, “It’s normal to be afraid. Soreness can be a sign of your legs itching for movements again. As long as you still feel them, you still have a chance.” 

“You really think so?” Lena asked, a bit more hopeful. 

“Of course.” 

“Can you help me with that?” 

“Sure, I’ll contact your old therapist.” 

“But don't tell my family,” Lena insisted, “I can't see them having hope and losing it again.” 

“Miss Luthor…” Jess sighed, “You would need familial support.” 

“Please, Jess. My mother would break down if she sees me in pain.” 

Jess let out a huff. “What about Kara? She should know.” 

“No. She’s focusing on the upcoming baking competition in Metropolis. I don't want her to drop it just to bring me to the therapy.” Lena shook her head, pleading. “Jess, please. Only you can help me.” 

The caretaker finally nodded. “Alright. Can I know the reason why do you want to do this again? It’s a great thing, don't get me wrong, but you used to be very against trying.” 

Lena unconsciously rubbed her thighs as she answered, “Kara’s sister would be at the competition.” She gulped, thinking back at the pictures in Kara’s living room, how her sister Alex seemed pretty intimidating. “I don't want her or Kara's family to have any reason to dislike me.” 

“They can never dislike you, Miss Luthor,” Jess reassured her. 

“Not just that, I’ve been wanting to walk again for a long time,” she admitted. 

“Good. I’ll book an appointment right away. Do you still have the therapist’s number?” 

Jess went into the living room to get her phone after that. Lena sat in the kitchen, thinking about the night before Kara left for Metropolis to get ready for the competition. They had gone to the movie that night, for the second time. It should have been a great night for both of them. 

Until Lena rolled her chair out of the bathroom and saw a group of three girls chatting with Kara, who was waiting for her on a bench in the theater hall. They were flirting with the blonde, obviously, and Lena had sensed the annoying grip of jealousy around her heart. Then it disappeared when Kara’s eyes found her and she immediately left the group and ran to Lena. The blonde didn't hesitate to introduce Lena as her girlfriend and the brunette was glad that the girls were nice enough to apologize for interrupting their date and left. 

If it had been only that, Lena might have not cared. 

But then, in the darkness of the theater, she heard the girls’ voice once again, after she was carried on Kara’s back to her seat and Kara had gone to give the employees her wheelchair. 

_“They won’t last. Imagine having to take care of that on your date night. That cute blonde will get tired eventually.”_

_“When she needs to go to the bathroom, what do you think her girlfriend would do? Carrying her again? God, such a burden.”_

Lena was grateful of the darkness in the theater because she could wipe the single tear running down her cheek quickly and pretend like her heart wasn't breaking apart everytime Kara laughed at something funny in the movie. 

It was the harsh truth she needed to hear. Everyone around her had always tried to make her feel better, less miserable. They sugarcoated the fact that Lena was a coward for not trying again. 

She had to do it. Not to prove to those girls. Not to be worthy of Kara. Not to please her family. 

Lena did it for herself. She needed to do her best, not chickening out like the first time. She had been someone who wasn't afraid of obstacles. 

She did this to find herself again. 

Even if the chance was low, she wouldn't grow old in the wheelchair, wondering what it would be like when she had tried her best. Lena had this second chance in life, she wanted to prove to Death that she was worthy of it. 

The explosion might have crippled her body, but it could never cripple her mind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LunaticAtBest: considering this chapter as a special gift for you and others with special needs who find themselves in this story.


	3. Taken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their relationship took a new knot.
> 
> Many knots at the same time.
> 
> A new character appeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey yo, it's a short chapter because I have no idea what to write :))
> 
> Please spare the typos.
> 
> I don't own any character, only the mistakes.
> 
> Enjoy!

Lena winced, gritting her teeth, trying not show the pain on her face. The doctor noticed her expression and the force she put on Lena’s leg reduced. Slowly, little by little, the pain subsided around Lena’s left knee as her left leg was returned to its neutral position.

 

“Thank you for your cooperation,” Doctor Arias said with a smile, “I know it’s painful for you.”

 

Lena exhaled heavily. “Do I have any chance, Doctor?” She still sensed the rumbling of her own muscles easing up after being forced to work after a long time of resting.

 

The slender woman in the white blouse took off her glasses and gave Lena a serious look. “To be honest, you do. You always do, Miss Luthor. There would be difficulties, I need to tell you that.”

 

She gulped, gripping the bed’s edge harder to steady herself. “What kind of difficulties, Doctor?”

 

Doctor Arias pulled a chair closer to the bed and sat down, gestured Lena’s knees. “These joints haven't worked for a year, they would need extra practise and it would be really painful for you. The exercise I just performed on your legs earlier, it would be worse.”

 

That news didn't surprise Lena at all. She knew that she had chickened out from this and accepted the fact that she couldn't walk. But Doctor Arias said she had a chance and she trusted her.

 

“Anything else?”

 

“I need to see your skin here,” Doctor Arias requested, her hands hovering above Lena’s thighs, “May I?”

 

Lena nodded. The doctor gently rolled up Lena’s pants on the left side then on the right side. She gazed down at the visibly pinker burned scars all over her skin and couldn't help but felt her eyes getting teary. Everytime she looked at them, they reminded her of what had happened. 

 

“Fortunately, you have a pretty good healing pace,” Doctor Arias said, and when Lena lifted her head, she caught the other woman’s smile. “That helps a lot in your future therapy because it used to be excruciating for you the last time we met.”

 

Lena embarrassingly looked away. She had practically ran away from the office, not literally but emotionally. Doctor Arias had been very kind to her and didn't blame her for being afraid. “I should have faced it.”

 

“No.” The doctor’s reply got her attention. Lena turned to her again. “You weren't in good conditions to try again then.”

 

“But you said I had a chance. I always have,” she asked, confused.

 

“I was talking about your physical condition. Yes, your body was ready to walk a year ago,” the doctor slowly rolled down the pants as she explained, “And you still are. But there was something in your mind that didn't let your body do what it could.”

 

Lena gulped again. The doctor had just seen through her so easily. She wondered if she was this transparent to others or Doctor Arias was just so good in her job. “You’re right. I wasn't emotionally ready back then. But I am now.”

 

“Good,” the woman in blouse smiled and nodded. Then her smile faltered and her face shifted into a serious frown, “Whenever you feel like the thought of walking again is too much, believe me, somewhere on the journey you will, please tell me. You didn't tell me and I was wrong for not asking. That didn't end well for the both of us, did it?” That got Lena smile. The doctor’s hard frown melted into a soft gaze.

 

“What if I give up, Doctor?” Lena asked worriedly, unconsciously rubbing her knees, “What if that day comes and I give up again? I-I don't want that.”

 

The kind doctor placed one hand on Lena’s shoulder, firmly said, “Let’s make a deal, Miss Luthor. You will come here six days a week and stay from the first to the very last minute of the session. No excuses this time.”

 

The words reminded Lena of the first day she bailed on Doctor Arias. She had found every possible excuse to not go to the office. It was immature and selfish.

 

“I’m sorry I quit last time,” she said, embarrassment and guilt filled in her eyes and formed the tears, “I won't do it again. No matter what I’d still come here.”

 

“And when you do, I’ll give you a candy,” Doctor Arias grinned and pushed the chair to move herself to the desk. She picked out a little green candy and handed it to Lena. “Don't eat, it’s terrible.”

 

Lena chuckled, wiping her eye. “Then why did you give me?”

 

“It’s a token of courage,” Doctor Arias joyfully spoke, “Every candy represents your strength and will to walk again. Whenever you come here, I will help you put one candy into that tube over there.”

 

Lena’s eyes followed the doctor’s finger to see a small and long tube in the corner. “When I fill the tube, I can walk?”

 

“Theoretically, yes.”

 

“And how many candies must I take until I walk again?”

 

“Usually it would take at least six months, so about a hundred and eighty candies.”

 

Lena took a deep breath and stared into the doctor’s eyes. “Do you think I can do it with less candies?”

 

“I definitely can, Miss Luthor.”

 

“Please, call me Lena,” she offered a handshake as if they hadn't met already, “Six months is a long time.”

 

The doctor gently took her hand and squeezed a bit. “It is. Call me Sam.”

  
  
  


_____

  
  
  
  


Lena let out a breath of relief when she was let down into the bathtub. Jess knowingly left the room and closed the door like any other day. The hot water caressed her skin, waking up her senses and relaxing her muscles.

 

The session was hard today. Doctor Sam Arias had told her that the first few weeks were the hardest, always. Lena had thought it was reasonable but she hadn't expected the lingering pain in her legs she had to feel afterwards.

 

It felt like someone was shaking a box full of broken metal pieces inside her skin and kept shaking it every moment she tried to move her legs. Lena had been told by Sam that painkiller would reduce the successful rate of the exercise so it would be better not to use them. It was easier said than done, when you could practically sense your legs shaking and breaking apart, painkiller sounded like heaven.

 

She squeezed her knees gently under the water, the joints were falling out under the tips of her fingers.

 

“I’m sorry,” she said to them, “Things would be better.”

 

The ringtone of her phone echoed loudly from the little counter right next to the tub. She already knew who was calling the moment she heard the music. “Hi,” she greeted with a smile.

 

“Hello, beautiful,” Kara’s clear and warm voice wrapped around Lena like an invisible blanket that instantly helped easing the pain. “What are you doing?”

 

“I’m taking a bath,” Lena honestly answered, blushing a bit, “You? How is everything?”

 

“It’s been great! Actually, I made a lot of friends here.” Lena heard the sound of the street and people around Kara as if she was standing near a crowd. “We’re hanging out right now at a local bar. Relax before the big day, you know.” Kara’s grin could be heard among the cheering and calling around her.

 

“You’re having fun, I’m glad,” Lena closed her eyes, rubbing her sensitive thighs with the free hand. “I can't believe we haven't seen each other for three weeks.”

 

The reminder seemed to pull down Kara’s laughter. She chuckled and said humorlessly, “Yes. Twenty-one days, seventeen hours and six minutes.” Lena’s heart melted at the specific time. “Tomorrow, I can see you again.”

 

Lena tried not to let Kara hear her choked voice, “Fourteen more hours.”

 

“Yes.” Kara took a breath, leaving the noise behind. “Thirteen hours and fifty-four minutes.”

 

She paused a bit, swallowing down the knot in her throat to say, “I miss you.” The hot tear ran down her cheek. Lena quickly wiped it away but another one escaped and raced to her chin. She let them. There was no point trying to hide.

 

“I miss you too,” Kara muttered breathily, “I want to be there with you right now.”

 

Lena looked down at herself and chuckled through the tears. Her voice became less mournful. “You can't. I’m naked.”

 

“I’d close my eyes,” Kara didn't give up, kept on teasing, “and hold your hand.”

 

“Really? Very proper,” Lena taunted with a smile.

 

“I’d kiss you,” Kara whispered, her voice dropped to a lower tone that stirred up something in Lena. “Would that be okay?”

 

_ Okay? I want nothing more. _ “Yes. Kiss me.”

 

A deep toned grunt was heard. “Gosh, Lena. You should have said ‘no’.”

 

“Why?”

 

“You can't say you're naked and tell me to kiss you right after that.” There was something in Kara’s voice that made Lena blush instantly. “It’s a dangerous combination, Stickers.”

 

Lena fanned her face with the other hand and slowly dipped herself down into the water as if she wanted hide herself. “Sorry…”

 

“Don't apologize. It’s nothing to be sorry about.” Kara said with a light chuckle, “I-I should be the one to say that. Gosh, I just miss you so much, Lena.”

 

“Me too.” They both stayed quiet after that. It was the comfortable silence they usually had around each other, no talking, just simply be. Lena broke the silence first. “I have something I want to share, but only after the competition.” Lena bit her lip, thinking about how she should tell Kara about the therapy to walk again. She didn't know how Kara would react to the news because they had never talked about it. Lena hadn’t told Kara about her quitting last time because she was ashamed, but she decided to try again now, and she wanted Kara to tell her that she could do it.

 

“Like I need more reasons to look forward to tomorrow,” Kara snickered softly and exhaled, “I’ll go back inside with the others, okay? See you tomorrow morning.”

 

“Good night,” she said before hanging up.

 

Returning to her own space again, Lena leaned backward and rested her head. Tomorrow would be a big day for Kara. It was also a big day for Lena, too.

 

She would get to meet Kara’s sister.

 

The thought only excited and scared her at the same time. It felt completely nerve-wracking to think that Kara’s sister might not like her. There would always be a chance for that. And even her career choice was intimidating, too. Kara’s sister, Alex, was a martial art master who worked as coach in studios to train actors so that they would perform better on screen. In another word, her job was to make others seem badass.

 

_ Badass Kara's sister, please like me. _

  
  
  
  


_______

  
  
  
  
  


“Are you sure you could go by yourself?” Her mother asked, full of concern from the other end of the seat, “What if you get lost? Or Kara can't find you? Or you want to find the bathroom? You know what, I’ll come with you.”

 

“Mom,” Lena sighed, grabbing Lillian’s hands to reassure her, “I’ll be fine. We plan to meet at the gates and I have my phone with me. If anything goes wrong, I'll call you right away.”

 

Her brother turned around from the driver’s seat. “I’ll wait with you until Kara arrives, how’s that?”

 

“Lex, I’m fine. You can’t always be around. This is my chance to do things on my own,” she told them both, “Please, it has to start with something.”

 

Lillian and Lex exchanged an equally worried look but her mother finally said, “Okay, we’ll let you down. As soon as you find Kara, or something goes wrong, tell us immediately.” The widow placed one hand against Lena’s cheek, whispered in her broken voice, “I can’t lose you again.”

 

Lena wrapped her hand on her mother’s, squeezing a bit. “You won’t. It’s a competition and the seats are booked. It’s not a rock concert.”

 

Lex chuckled and snapped his finger, “This reminds me of that time I had to pick you up from Starlette’s concert.” Lena laughed at that. She couldn’t remember what happened after that but the fact that she had puked all over Lex’s car.

 

“How did you get rid of the stench anyway?” she asked, cackling.

 

“I didn’t. I got a new car, remember?” Lex joined her, grinning from ear to ear, “Gosh, you were so drunk.”

 

“And underage,” her mother grimly added, sending her children a scolding look, “Remind me why I can’t twist your ears again?”

 

The laughter died quickly.

 

“Because we’re supposed to be responsible adults,” Lex said, looking down.

 

“And we love you, Mom,” Lena cheekily added.

 

Lillian glared at both of them for the last time and exhaled, her face melted back into a smile. “Alright, sneaky. Lex, let’s get your sister down so she can get rid of us and have fun with her girlfriend.”

 

Lex faked the smooching sound and even pretended to hug himself to mock her, “ _ ‘Oh, Kara, I miss you so much! _ ’”

 

Lena grabbed the box of tissue and threw at him. “Shut up.”

 

Lex wasn’t scared, he laughed even louder. “She’s blushing!”

 

“Mom!” Lena turned to her mother, who only covered her mouth to hide her smile. “Not you too!”

  
  
  
  


______

  
  
  
  
  


The crowd was getting heavier every minute. Kara checked the watch to see if it was nine o’clock yet. She was standing near the biggest gates, waiting for Lena to arrive.

 

They had arranged to meet here before Kara had to go inside and prepare for her part. This was Noonan’s first year to take part in such competition to expand their reputation. Kara and her senior, Lucy Lane, were chosen to compete against the bakeries from Metropolis.

 

Kara had bought Lena a little present and wanted to see Lena’s face when she received it. She wanted to see Lena’s face. Gosh, she missed Lena. So much.

 

Then she spotted in the crowd, the familiar wheelchair and even more familiar girl on that chair, rolling past the people and coming straight toward the gates. Kara was about to call her name when she realized Lena hadn't seen her yet.

 

Kara wanted to surprise her. She sneakily walked around to be behind the wheelchair and gently grabbed the handle to twist it towards Noonan’s booth. Lena didn't recognize it at first and kept on looking around but then Kara pushed the chair past the gates and her girlfriend started noticing.

 

Lena let her hands off the wheel and turned around. The moment she saw Kara, her face shifted from confused to relieved and then joyful.

 

“Kara!”

 

“Hello, stranger,” she grinned down at Lena. “I’ll bring you to my booth.”

 

Lena stayed still on the chair until they reached Noonan’s booth. Lucy was there, wearing her uniform and about to finish displaying the cupcakes.

 

“Luce,” she called, “Let me introduce to you, my girlfriend, Lena.”

 

Her co-worker’s mouth formed an ‘o’, she quickly wiped her hands and ran to them, offered Lena a handshake. “Hi, my name is Lucy. Call me Luce if you want. Very nice to finally meet you!”

 

Lena seemed surprised a bit but she accepted the gesture with a smile. “Lena, very nice to meet you too.”

 

“Woah, you look even more beautiful than Kara described,” Lucy cheekily commented, making Kara blush for being busted, “Your girlfriend never shuts up about you.”

 

Lena looked up at her with a grin, “Oh, really?”

 

Kara pushed Lucy back into the booth. “You have work to do, right? Later, Luce!” Then she quickly led the wheelchair away from the teasing eyes from the senior co-worker.

 

“You told her about me?” Lena asked when they were approaching the arranged seats.

 

“Well, I might or might not mention you,” Kara spotted Lena’s seat and picked the chair up to put away and led Lena’s wheelchair to take its place. She twisted a chair in front of Lena around to sit and face her girlfriend. “Let me take a good look at you.”

 

Lena smiled, “We were only three weeks apart, not three years.”

 

“It seems like three years.” Kara took Lena’s hands and brought to her lips. She kissed the brunette’s knuckles, lingering a bit to take in the warmth from the other girl’s hands. When she looked up at Lena, a smile spread on both of their lips. “So good to see you again.”

 

Her girlfriend bit her lower lip, cheeks pink. “How are you? Nervous?”

 

“No,” Kara shook her head, her thumbs casually rubbed on Lena’s fingers, “Not with you around.”

 

“You’re quite cheesy for a donut,” Lena joked, giggling but didn't take her hands back, “I’ve never expected that.”

 

Kara stuck out her tongue to reply and shoved one hand into her jacket pocket to pull out a small box. “And I’m getting even more cheesy now.”

 

“What is it?” Lena asked, curious.

 

“A little gift,” Kara opened the box and took out a small bracelet. It was a simple chain with a mini donut, a cupcake, a chocolate bar, a lollipop, a half-eaten M&M, a cookie and a croissant. There was a little pendant with the letter L carved on it dangling at the final knot. She wrapped it around Lena’s wrist and hooked it up. “Something for you to think about me.”

 

Lena took back her hand and ran her fingers across the little figures, grinning from ear to ear. She liked it. Good.

 

“This is so cute, Kara!” Lena exclaimed and leaned forward to wrap her in an embrace. The closeness and intimacy heatened up Kara’s chest and then her entire body as if Lena was on fire. “Thank you so much! I’ll never take it off.”

 

Kara laughed, pulling back and pinching Lena’s cheeks. “You’re my lucky charm today, Stickers. Cheer for me while wearing it, okay?”

 

“Of course! That’s why I’m here.” Lena looked around, suddenly seemed nervous, “Um, where is your sister?”

 

“Alex? She got held up a bit but she’d be here before my turn, don’t worry.” Lena nodded, her hands rubbed her thighs. She always did that when she was worried. Kara tilted her head and touched Lena’s chin. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing…” her girlfriend sighed, “I hope that she’ll like me.”

 

“Even if she wants to hate you, she wouldn’t be able to. You’re lovable, Lena,” Kara crouched forward, bringing her face closer to the brunette’s, grinning devilishly, “and kissable.”

 

That got the brunette blush instantly. Kara enjoyed collecting such reaction from Lena because her face was very pale, therefore the blush was always bright and easy to notice. It made Lena even more alluring, attractive and Kara was driven crazy everytime Lena blushed.

 

The girl in wheelchair cleared her throat, biting back a smile. “Should I be worried that your sister thinks I’m kissable?”

 

Kara gave Lena a look of pride. “I should be the one to worry about that, shouldn’t I?” Lena’s eyes cast down at her lips for a second and then back at her eyes. “Believe me, I’ll fight tooth and nail for your kiss.”

 

Lena grinned, cupping Kara’s face and brought their heads closer. “Or just ask and I’ll give it to you, silly.” She closed her eyes. Kara followed her lead and received the gentle touch brushing against her lips. Gosh, she needed this everyday. Every worry she had for the competition had disappeared.

 

Getting drown in the kiss, they both didn’t notice someone approaching them. Kara caught the sound of a camera taking picture and opened her eyes to loosen the kiss. Lena also pulled back at the same time and they turned to the same direction. It was Alex, holding her camera, grinning knowingly at them.

 

“Alex!” Kara scolded, her face was hotter than the sun. “When did you come?”

 

“Your co-worker show me where you are.” Alex skipped to their spot and crouched down to extend one hand to Lena. “Sorry to interrupt you two, I’m Kara’s sister, Alex. Nice to meet you.”

 

Lena threw Kara a nervous glance and took Alex’s hand, shaking it lightly. “Hi, I’m Lena. The pleasure is all mine. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

 

“Oh, what did she tell you?” Alex smirked, sitting down on the chair next to Lena, “All good things I hope.”

 

Kara rolled her eyes and told her girlfriend, “Don't let her take you anywhere suspicious and you’ll be fine.”

 

“Hey, I'm the cool sis,” Alex declared confidently, smashing Kara’s shoulder, “I’ll take good care of your beloved Lena. You pay attention to the competition and snatch that prize, okay?”

 

They sat there and chatted a bit, Kara intentionally wanted to create an easy aura for Lena before she left her side and let her being alone with Alex. She knew Alex would be nice, but knowing Lena, a person who had shut herself out of the world for many months and if it weren't for the signs and and stickers, she would probably still shut herself out, it would be difficult for Lena.

 

She had told Alex about this and noted specifically to her sister that she really wanted Lena to get along with her family. It was a lot for Lena, to be in a strange city, getting to know a stranger. Kara could sense how tensed Lena was during the conversation with Alex and she held her hand to give her the emotional support she needed. Lena was sweating but her face seemed neutral. Kara proudly observed her girlfriend, who was tough and always prepared for a challenge.

 

The speaker began to announce the beginning of the competition, that was Kara’s cue to leave. She placed a chaste kiss on Lena’s forehead before sprinting off to Noonan’s booth and put on the uniform.

 

It was time to impress everyone.

 

And Lena.

 

Mostly Lena.

  
  
  
  


________

  
  
  
  
  


Lena felt like the weight on her chest was lowered down again when Kara left her side. It was weird because Alex was actually very friendly and nice to her.

 

They stayed in a half-weird, half-comfortable silence after the competition had begun. Lena tried to come up with something to say but couldn't because their only common theme was Kara, whose turn hadn't come yet.

 

“Do you have any sibling?” Alex suddenly asked, twisted her upper-body toward Lena with a kind smile.

 

“Yes, I have an older brother. His name is Lex,” she answered, feeling relieved for finally having something to discuss.

 

“Did Kara meet him?”

 

“Yes. My brother really likes her,” Lena admitted with a shy giggle, “They both like baseball.”

 

Alex let out an ‘ah’ understandingly, “That sounds nice. I don't like baseball much but I’d enjoy fishing.”

 

“Really?” Lena gasped, “That's my second favorite activity.”

 

“What’s the first one?”

 

“Stargazing. I know it's boring but there's something peaceful about it,” Lena exhaled with a smile.

 

“I haven't tried stargazing but I spend a lot of time gardening. It is peaceful too,” Alex smirked, clapping her hands together, “You should visit my garden one day. It's something I always want to brag about.”

 

“I’d love to,” Lena nodded. She felt silly for worrying about meeting Alex. She was such a cool person and she was into calm activities like Lena. They would get along, she could feel it.

 

“Maybe you should do it to- oh my gosh, I’m here! Right here!” Alex suddenly stood up and waved at somebody behind Lena’s back. She got curious and turned around to find a middle-aged blonde woman with a soft smile on her face coming to them. She dumbfoundedly gawked as the old woman walked into Alex’s arms and they hugged each other tightly. “I can't believe you came! I thought you said you couldn't make it.”

 

“I know, I know. But things were solved in the last minute and I had to come here right away,” the older blonde let go of the embrace and continued, “How can I miss my own daughter's big competition?”

 

_ Wait a minute… ‘My own daughter’? _

 

_ Doesn't that make this woman… Kara’s mother? _

 

The realisation dawned on the youngest Luthor. Her composure from the previous minute had gone to the other side of the galaxies and the urge to stand up and run away returned.

 

Lena wasn't prepared for this.

 

Lena wasn't prepared to meet Kara’s mother.

 

Thousands of negative thoughts began to swarm up in her brain.

 

_ She might not expect to see me like this. _

 

_ I should have worn something better. _

 

_ She might think I'm not good enough for Kara. _

 

_ She might want someone who can walk to be with Kara. _

 

_ She might- _

 

“Hello, you must be Lena, right?”

 

Kara’s mother was sitting on her heels in front of Lena, sending her a friendly smile.  _ Oh my God, she's talking to me. _

 

“Y-yes, I am Lena. You’re… Kara's mother?” she stuttered stupidly and fix herself, “Oh my God, that sounds rude. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me, Mrs. Danvers.”

 

Lena was in the state of panic. She really tried to have Alex like her, now her effort was ruined because of her foul mouth.

 

“Oh, sweetie, there’s nothing to forgive. Call me Eliza.” Kara’s mother opened her arms, “Can I hug you?”

 

The offer was not expected. She took a few seconds to collect herself and answered, “S-sure.”

 

The older woman crouched down and wrapped her arms around Lena’s shoulders. The unfamiliar but also not too foreign touch reminded Lena of Kara’s hugs but this time it was even more kind, more gentle and more caring. Who was this woman made of? How could she radiate such calm and beautiful feeling of love that gave Lena instant urge to snuggle into her arms and cry?

 

“I’m so glad to finally meet you,” Eliza said when she pulled back and sat down on Lena’s left. Alex quietly seated on her right. “Kara has told me a lot about you, Lena.”

 

“She did?” Lena mumbled, flustered.

 

“Yes.” Eliza laughed and gently place one hand on Lena’s, “I can safely say that I like you already.”

 

Lena couldn't feel her face anymore.

 

_ She likes me? _

 

“I…”

 

Eliza chuckled, tapping on Lena’s hand, “It’s okay. I know you didn't expect to see me. To be honest, Kara doesn't either. Just think it like a pleasant surprise for our girl, okay?”

 

_ Our girl. _

 

Lena smiled shyly and nodded.

 

Noonan’s name was announced and they both looked up at the stage. Kara was walking out in her baker uniform: a black shirt underneath a white large size bib apron and a cute baker hat on her head. She looked so adorable and Lena might squeal a little.

 

Kara’s eyes searched the crowd. Lena quickly raised her hand, as well as Eliza and Alex. She seemed surprised to find Eliza with them but grinned widely anyway and began to roll up her sleeves, preparing for her performance.

 

Lena had no idea what her girlfriend was doing but just looking at the blonde in her work was enough to make her happy. Kara really enjoyed doing this, smiling from start to finish and cooperated with her co-worker Lucy very well. They didn’t even look like two people but a person with four hands, constantly beating the batter, rolling it, shaping the pie and many more activities. She wondered if this was how Kara always was at work. So enthusiastic.

 

Lena was once enthusiastic at work too.

 

Watching Kara being like this, it created an urge in Lena, wanting to show Kara how she was when she did her job too.

 

Kara was still far ahead of her, Lena needed to step it up and be the person Kara should be with.

  
  
  
  


________

  
  
  
  
  
  


Kara rushed to Lena’s side, as soon as her duty was done. The ceremony to give prizes was quite long and tedious but it didn’t bother her much. The fair was about to begin soon and she couldn’t wait to spend more time with the brunette.

 

Her mother’s presence wasn’t expected but Kara was really happy to see that Lena and Eliza got along pretty well. Alex, too, told her that she found a fishing buddy in Lena and even planned to bring her girlfriend to the rooftop garden that she was really proud of.

 

The day couldn’t get any better, even though Noonan’s didn’t get the biggest prize.

 

“There’s always be next year,” Alex consoled her, putting an arm around her shoulders.

 

“Second place is pretty good enough. I didn’t expect to win any against these professionals from Metropolis,” she shrugged, walking in the same pace with Alex. “Hey, Al, have they been like that ever since Mom came?” She gestured the two women in front of them. Her mother didn’t leave Lena’s side, they talked and laughed and murmured joyfully as if they had been friends for years. Which was good. But Kara was hoping to have some private time with Lena.

 

“I think so. Mom really likes Lena, not that I need to say it out loud. Be glad.” Alex nudged her, “It’s a good sign for your first official girlfriend.”

 

Kara rolled her eyes. “Of course, Mom likes her. It’s impossible to not like Lena. She’s funny, she’s smart and she loves animals. And she’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. That’s like a thousand bonus points!” She exhaled in content. “I can’t believe I’m actually dating Lena.”

 

“Woah…” Alex sent her a teasing look, “Have you thought about a house behind the fence with two dogs already?”

 

Kara pushed her sister, scolding, “Shoo. I’m happy with how things are right now.”

 

“Uh huh… Looks like our mom is going to steal your girlfriend for the day,” Alex pointed at said women, laughing. Lena and Eliza were staying close to a crepe show where a guy was juggling with the crepes before making one done. “More time for the Danvers Sisters then.”

 

Kara slightly shook her head and prayed that she got to have some time alone with Lena before the day ended.

  
  
  
  


________

  
  
  
  
  


“What’s the thing you said you wanted to tell me?”

 

Lena hummed between Kara’s arms, twisted herself to look up at the blonde. They were sitting on the familiar couch in Kara’s living room, watching a movie that Lena didn’t pay much attention to because the day had already worn her out. She had called her mother, telling her that she might come home late. Lillian had knowingly asked Lena if it was a cue for her not to expect her daughter home before sunrise but she had embarrassingly stuttered on the phone that it was not it.

 

“Oh yes, I almost forgot,” she gripped on the couch and sat up, looking straight into Kara’s eyes to deliver the news, “I’m going through a therapy to walk again.”

 

Kara’s eyes widened and her lips stretched into a giant grin. “Oh, that’s great! Have you started it yet? What did the doctor say? Do you want me to come with you?”

 

“Easy, easy. Yes, I’ve started for over two weeks. The doctor said I have a chance and I want to try again.”

 

“Okay. Who took you to the therapy?”

 

“Jess. I haven’t told my family about it.”

 

Kara frowned in confusion. “Why not?”

 

She sighed and told Kara about the last time she had gone to the therapy and chickened out after a few months. It was embarrassing to admit it to Kara but she wanted the blonde to know something about the past that had resulted in her staying home for such a long time. “I don’t want them to have more hope and then shatter it when I can’t walk.”

 

“But you just said the doctor thinks you have a chance, Lena.” During the entire story, Kara had never once express pity or disappointment. It caressed Lena’s fear that the blonde might find her a coward.

 

“I know. I plan to tell them when I can use the crutches.” Lena rubbed her knees with a smile, “I think I’m getting there.”

 

Kara nodded and grabbed her hands, leading them to place on her chest. The act made Lena blush a bit because Kara was wearing a deep V-neck shirt, touching her chest was so intimate for the moment, considering she was practically sitting in Kara’s lap. “You can do it. I know you can. I want to be there for you, if that’s okay.”

 

“I come to the therapy six days a week. You work five days a week. We should come together on Saturday. Jess can have a day off and we get to spend time together.”

 

Kara grinned devillishly. “I’ve never thought to actually have a date at a therapist’s office.”

 

“Does it still count as a date? I mean, the doctor is there,” Lena scrunched her nose.

 

“I’m sure the doctor wouldn’t mind if I kiss you once or twice during the session,” Kara brought her head closer to Lena, tilting suggestively to a side, “You know, for emotional support.”

 

Lena giggled and rubbed Kara’s nose with the tip of hers, one hand reached out to cup the blonde’s face. “I need some of that emotional support right now.”

 

She closed her eyes and met Kara’s lips. They kissed slowly, deeply and the pace began to quicken. The kiss became harsher, rougher, open-mouth and hungrier. Lena sensed Kara’s hands started wandering on her back. The next thing she knew, she was pressed down on the couch, with Kara on top of her, still pouring kisses and touches that ignited the fire that she hadn’t dared to light up for a long time.

 

The ache between her thighs burst into flame. It pulled her closer to the blonde but at the same time made her acknowledge clearly that her legs were still not good enough to the activity that this intimacy could lead. But she needed it to be. She needed this so much.

 

A moan escaped her lips when Kara kissed between her collarbones.

 

_ Oh God… _

 

Lena wanted Kara so badly.

 

But she couldn’t do it.

 

Not yet.

 

Not when her legs were still like this under the grinding. She wanted them to wrap around Kara’s hips, expressing how much she wanted her.

 

That simple gesture, she couldn’t do.

 

That simple need, she couldn’t fulfill.

 

That simple movement, she couldn’t act upon.

 

The frustration and anger born from helplessness tightened the invisible grip around her throat. It hurt. It hurt so bad.

 

“Kara…” she called out, her voice choked, “...please…”

 

The blonde on top of her paused and looked up. Her face was from the expression of an aroused woman to a petrified one. She quickly rolled herself off the couch and looked into Lena’s eyes. “I’m so sorry. Did I hurt you? D-don’t cry…”

 

Lena shook her head, the tears came out of nowhere kept falling down her face. Kara’s hands wiped them off to give her some time to swallow the knot so her voice would make the words clear. “No, you didn’t hurt me. I-I can’t do this…”

 

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done this-”

 

“No,” Lena cut Kara off before the blonde took the blame, “it’s not your fault, it’s mine. I can’t do this because I’m not able to. I want this.” She cupped Kara’s face. “I want you. I just can’t do this yet.”

 

Kara leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Lena, whispering, “Okay, okay, I get it. It’s fine, it’s not your fault. We’re taking this slow. I’ll wait. We’ll wait.”

 

Lena nodded, snuggled her face into the crook of Kara’s neck and when the tears were dry and the exhaustion took over, she fell asleep in the arms of the woman she loved.

  
  
  


_______

  
  
  
  
  


Later that night, after Lena had been brought into Kara’s bed, the baker called her mother to inform that the brunette had fallen asleep and it would be better to let her stay the night here. Kara was very clear about the nature of this sleepover to Mrs. Luthor and even told the widow that she would not share the bed with her daughter without Lena’s consent.

 

It was an awkward conversation to say at least but Kara knew that it should be done.

 

Looking at her girlfriend sleeping peacefully on her bed after the phone call, Kara mentally scolded herself for acting upon her need too soon without asking. It had hurt Lena, not physically but emotionally and made her cry.

 

_ I was so selfish _ , she thought,  _ I can’t do that again. _

 

Repressing a sigh, Kara silently covered Lena with a blanket and brought a pillow to the couch.

 

Lena needed someone she could trust and depend on, not a reminder of something that was taken away from her.

 

Kara laid herself on the cushions, drifting into sleep after turning constantly on the guilt of ruining their reunion that should have ended on a happy note.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has anyone expected this?


	4. Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's not much to be said except for the usual 'I don't own any character, only the mistakes'.
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy the continuation.

Lena winced and stirred herself. The smell of foreign bedsheet slowly woke her up and the warmth, the brightness on her face alerted her that it was morning.

 

Covering her eyes with one hand, she rolled to the side while her legs were still in place to avoid the light and opened her eyes. This wasn't her room.

 

The initial fear struck her chest but then she saw the basketball bat and glove on the wall along with a cute ukulele, fear turned into glee. This was Kara’s room.

 

_ Kara. _

 

The name reminded her of what happened last night. Lena sighed and placed one hand on her eyes. The heavy burden of not solving something in the way she wanted crept upon her chest. Kara was an understanding person, and Lena loved her for that, which was why she wanted to discuss this matter, no matter how sensitive it was. She stretched her hands to find the phone, when realized she was brought into the bedroom, her things must still be in the living room.

 

Lena cast her eyes around to find her wheelchair instead. There it was, right next to the bed. Slowly moving to the edge of the bed, Lena rolled to her side to push herself up. She noticed that Kara’s bed was closer to the ground than hers and she needed to adjust that. Lena crouched down to split the footplates apart, pulling the chair closer to the edge, then gripped on the armrests to have a stable point to hurl herself up.

 

She gritted her teeth as the weight from her upper-body poured down on her two arms. Eventually, she was above the seat. Now, if Lena could just move her knees a bit, the position would be a lot easier.

 

“Come on…” she said to herself, the breathing got heavier. With a sharp lift of the thigh muscles, Lena’s left knee pressed on the seat. Then the right one. The hardest part had passed. She exhaled in relief and slowly lowered herself down. Little by little, Lena twirled around and sat properly, then crouched down to place her feet on the plates. It took her longer to do this than at home, but she thought she should get used to this, if she shall spend another night here again.

 

Rolling the chair to the bedroom door, Lena took advance and looked at the room. Kara was not a neat person, it could be seen at how things were arranged randomly on the shelf, from books to little figures. Lena smiled when she saw the most precious thing that sat on Kara’s desk was a baseball with the signature of the first female pitcher, Ginny Baker. It reminded her of Lex’s desk at Luthor Corp, a glove signed by Paul “Snatch” Ripson always presented with pride.

 

Lena used to go with Lex to baseball matches or games to join her dear brother in the screaming, shouting and even cursing that he loved. The activity had stopped after the accident. Not just that, going to the club and being each other’s wingperson was also quietly cancelled.

 

She opened the door and shook the thoughts away when a delicious smell went into her nostrils. There was music, singing and the sense of cooking from the kitchen. Lena gently closed the bedroom door and approached her girlfriend, who was still singing with the egg batter while washing dishes.

 

_ ‘I’ve got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine _

_ I got a love and I know that it’s all mine _

_ Oh, oh whoa.’ _

 

The way Kara bobbed her head and hips to the upbeat rhythm painted a grin on Lena’s face. Kara was definitely a morning person.

 

_ ‘Do what you want, but you’re never gonna break me _

_ Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me _

_ No, oh whoa.’ _

 

Kara’s pyjamas had food pictures on it and guess what, they were all kinds of donuts.

 

The dancing donut was back.

 

_ So cute. _

 

Lena rolled the chair closer to the sink but didn't get close enough that Kara might see her to observe the blonde. She had her hair tied up in a ponytail and it hopped up and down, left and right to every movement.

 

_ ‘Take me away _

_ A secret place _

_ A sweet escape _

_ Take me away.’ _

 

Kara had a great voice, she must admit without bias. Lena sat still and smiled when she thought about the circumstances that brought them together. It was so random, almost fateful.

 

_ ‘I got a pocket, got a pocketful of-’ _

 

The singing halted abruptly when Kara turned around to make a twirl and found out Lena was close by. “Lena!” Kara jumped, the egg batter flew right behind her and the other hand placed on her chest, “You were there the whole time?”

 

Lena laughed and rolled backward, “Yeah, you were so cute.”

 

Her girlfriend picked up the batter and kept on washing the last of the dishes and wiped her hands. “Hungry, too. Let’s eat.”

 

They enjoyed the food in silence. There was something lingering in the air, like a thin string of something that hooked on everywhere they touched, reminded them of last night. They hadn’t really talked it out and Lena wanted to find a way to suggest the problem but couldn’t find a way to start.

 

“These are really good,” she gestured the pancakes, “Thank you.”

 

“It’s nothing,” Kara waved her spoon, “I’m so glad we get to eat breakfast together.”

 

She hummed understandingly, “That’s right, we haven’t done this until now.”

 

“I hope there would be more mornings like this,” the blonde grinned, “I want to make breakfast for you everyday.”

 

That meant Lena would spend more nights here. “Kara, listen, about last night, I’m sorry.”

 

Blue eyes stared into green ones with a remorseful look in them. “Don’t apologise. It’s not your fault. It was mine. I shouldn’t-”

 

“No, Kara, it’s not yours. It was a natural progression of relationships,” Lena blushed when she said it, “Ah… forget I said that.”

 

They both chuckled. Then the joyful sound died. “We need to talk about that, right?”

 

“Yes, we do.”

 

“I wouldn’t mind…” Kara sat straighter and put down her spoon and fork, “the whole…, you know. It never comes into my mind as an obstacle.”

 

“It is to me,” Lena gulped when she knew she had to be the one to remind Kara that she was not like other girls. “There are things I can’t do, things that everyone else could.”

 

Kara stayed silent for a moment before speaking in a soft voice, “There are things you can do that not everyone could, Lena.”

 

The reply had Lena taken aback. “Like what?”

 

“You…” Kara stood up and walked around the table to sit on her heels in front of Lena, “you never give up hope. I could only imagine how hard it was for you to have your life completely turned around and still keep trying everyday.”

 

Guilt and shame took over Lena’s heart. She shook her head, “It wasn’t like that, Kara. I gave up. This is the second time I go to the therapist, like I told you last night.”

 

“Yes, see? You didn’t give up,” Kara said with a hopeful voice that only hurt Lena’s heart a bit more.

 

“I didn’t tell you why, besides the fact that I couldn’t handle the pain.”

 

“Then why?”

 

Lena sighed, rubbing her thighs unconsciously. Her mind replayed the images of the explosion aftermath. Her dead friends, piece by piece, were laying everywhere. The smell of burned flesh never got out of her system, it created fireworks of booming pictures, override fear that choke her neck. Her skin still remembered how hot it was and her lungs were almost smoked inside out.

 

“I dreamed about my friends,” she wiped her left eye to keep it clear from tears, “how they died, what was left of them.” Her voice became shaky, Lena closed her eyes and slowly opened them again, “I could have been like them. Dead.”

 

Kara drew in a long breath and reached out timidly to touch her hands. “You’re not. You’re alive.”

 

“I didn't feel like that,” Lena began to sense the heat of fear and insecurities burned up inside her. It was vicious and blazing, crawling and eating her mind every time she recalled such time. “I couldn't think of a reason rather than showing my family that I wasn’t dead to open my eyes and go through another day. The explosion didn't just take my legs, it took everything from me and left a shell.”

 

Tears formed in Kara’s eyes but she didn't say anything, only waited for Lena to continue. She couldn't believe how she found a person like Kara.

 

“Until I met you,” she smiled at the blonde, “as cheesy as that sounds, you somehow cracked the shell.”

 

Kara grinned, blinking away the tears. “I thought you found me annoying.”

 

“You were at first,” she pinched Kara’s nose, “Then I got curious. The rest is history.”

 

“Good history,” Kara added joyfully even though the tears were still lingering in her eyes.

 

“Yes, good. That’s why I can't risk it. I can't risk you,” Lena crouched down to kiss and when she couldn't reach, Kara craned her neck to meet their lips, just a little peck, enough to put a brighter smile on their faces, “you are precious to me.”

 

“That doesn't mean I’m fragile,” Kara pouted, “Whatever you're going through, I can share. Let me do that for you.”

 

“Kara…” Lena trailed off, “things would get bumpy.”

 

“When are they not?” Kara chuckled and gripped her hands tighter, “Lena, I know you’re afraid and it’s okay. But you shouldn’t be afraid forever. Life is about taking chances. You took your chance on me, the annoying girl you saw on the pavement. Do it again on my feelings.”

 

The words melted Lena’s heart. She tilted her head and let out a soft chuckle, “Where have you been all my life, Donut?”

 

“Right outside your window,” the blonde cheekily answered with a wink.

  
  
  
  
  
  


___________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“That’s a cute bracelet.” Lena smiled when she heard Sam’s comment. “I didn't see it before Monday.”

 

It was the end of the session and Lena was sitting on the exercise bench with her legs stretched to relax after hours of practicing.

 

Lena held up her wrist and proudly answered, “It’s a gift from my girlfriend. She gave it to me last week.”

 

“Girlfriend?” Sam smirked, putting on her gloves to prepare for the last thing she always did after each session: applying cooling lotion. “Lucky girl. What's she like?”

 

Lena scrunched her nose, trying to find a word to describe Kara Danvers. Energetic. Lovely. Funny. Adorable. Amazing. “Just… everything I could wish for.”

 

The doctor grinned, slightly shaking her head, “Wow.”

 

“What?” she asked.

 

“Nothing, it’s nice to see you so glowing when you talk about someone,” Sam returned to the desk.

 

“I’m cheesy, right?” Lena covered her face, “This is  _ so _ embarrassing.”

 

“It’s not a bad thing, Lena.” Sam pressed on the tip of her pen and started scribbling something on Lena’s note, “Happiness and joy affect treatment really well. So go on, be mushy and cheesy all you want, as long as it makes you feel great.”

 

Lena leaned back, propping her upper-body with two arms behind, “Are you seeing anyone, Sam?”

 

The pen stopped moving for a second before continuing, “Not at the moment. Why?” Sam looked up.

 

“Oh, is there a reason?” she asked, then quickly added, “if you don't want to tell, it's okay. I’m just trying to make a conversation.”

 

The doctor sat straighter, looking into Lena’s eyes with a soft gaze, “I do like someone, but nothing can be done about it. I work a lot. So no dating for me now.”

 

Lena clicked her tongue, “That's too bad. You're a very beautiful woman, and smart. I think you can have anyone you like.”

 

“Not anyone.” Sam’s eyes cast down on the note. “But you don't have to worry about it. I love my job.” She continued to write.

 

“Ah, I almost forgot, can I take a day off? This Saturday,” she asked the woman in white blouse with hope.

 

Sam looked up again, one corner of her mouth curved up into a teasing smirk, “Date?”

 

The word made Lena blush. “It’s a baseball game.”

 

“You like baseball? I didn't see that coming,” Sam finished up the writing and closed the note.

 

“I don't. My brother does. Kara has four tickets to the game and she asked both of us to come.”

 

“Sounds great,” Sam nodded, “Of course you can take a day off, just remember to spend one hour to exercise your knees at home, just like how I showed you, okay?”

 

“Yes, I will. Thanks, Sam.” Lena nodded happily and reached for her bag at the feet of the bench to find her phone. It was the end of the session, so she needed to call Jess, who was probably at the building's cafeteria drinking coffee. Her phone suddenly died right after she had just opened the contacts. “Great.”

 

“What is it?” Sam asked, standing up from her chair.

 

“My phone is dead, I can't call Jess,” she sighed, “I’ll just come to the cafeteria to find her then.”

 

“Wait!” Sam hurriedly took off her long blouse and hung it on the rack, “I’ll take you there.”

 

“There's no need, doctor.”

 

“Don't worry,” Sam opened the wheelchair and held the handle, “my next session is in fifteen minutes.”

  
  
  
  


______________

  
  
  
  
  


“This is exciting, right?” Lex asked from the driver’s seat, “Brother and sister bonding time again, woohoo!”

 

“Lex, calm down,” Lena said, then to the Danvers who also sat inside Lex’s SUV, “I’m really sorry. He’s not usually this hyper.”

 

Alex, who was sitting in the front seat, turned around to reply, “Kara is even worse than that. She's been trying to contain her excitement in front of you.”

 

Kara let out a long ‘pfffff’ and slapped her chest, “I am capable of being mature, calm, cool and collected. Not just because Lena is here.”

 

“Well the face paint  _ is _ telling enough,” Lena grinned and became the receiving end of the Danvers pout, “Aw, I don't mind.” She ruffled Kara’s wild ponytail, “Red and blue look good on you.” Kara immediately grinned like a puppy.

 

“Why you never say that to me, sis?” Lex complained.

 

“Because you aren't cute,” Lena quickly retorted, earning laughter from Alex.

 

“Lex, stop trying,” the older Danvers shook her head, “You can't deal with lovers.”

 

They came to the stadium a few minutes later. Lex dropped everyone off to find a parking spot. They were all waiting for him to return at the gates when a group of Hamster Hat’s passed by and chanted loudly their motto  _ ‘Run, Nuts, Run!’ _ and startled everyone. Both Kara and Lex’s favorite team was The L so Alex and Lena joined them too. Kara raised her flag and other L fans simutaneously shouted back  _ ‘Stronger together!’ _ . They exchanged mottos back and forth for a few times before each group parted ways.

 

“Wow, sport fans,” Alex made a ‘yikes’ face.

 

“Yep,” Lena said knowingly, “Lex almost got kicked out once.” She lowered her voice. “Over a baseball.”

 

“Excuse me, it was a homerun ball.” Lex’s voice interrupted from behind Lena. “From the last game of Chuck Bodine’s life, hello.”

 

Kara gasped in excitement, “Oh my God, really? That was you? I got sick before the game and I missed it! My chair was very close to the spot where the ball dropped!”

 

Alex gripped the wheelchair handle and gently pushed Lena forward, “You could have met Lena before if you didn't steal my sandwich.”

 

“It was molding in your room for months! And you didn't tell me!” Kara complained while Lex laughed out loud and promised to let Kara hold the precious baseball one day.

  
  
  
  


_____________

  
  
  
  
  


**_“It’s timeout! Folks, please sit down, grab a snack, a drink and enjoy this little calm time before we continue!”_ **

 

“Good, I need to pee,” Lex stood up and Alex followed him.

 

“I’ve been dying for a Coke but that dude never goes to this area, like what?” The older Danvers scoffed before walking out of the row.

 

Kara leaned back on the seat and turned to her girlfriend, “How are you so far, Stickers?”

 

Lena smirked and propped her elbow on the back rest to face her, “Pretty good. I didn't think it would be okay for me to do this, you know, being here again after what happened, but it turned out okay.”

 

“Yeah?” she tilted her head, “Good.”

 

“Doing things that I used to do wouldn't be so bad.” One of Lena’s eyebrows went up, “I don't know about the things I never did before, though.”

 

Kara squinted her eyes, “Before…?” she trailed off to soundlessly ask Lena and when the brunette nodded, she continued, “What is it?”

 

Lena only turned her head to the field again, “Let’s see if I get to do it today.”

 

She held her gaze at Lena for a few seconds but ultimately followed her and realized what Lena was talking about.

 

The jumbotron in front of them was playing a love song and the screen was flashing a heart frame with the two giant red words popping on it. She couldn't stop the grin spreading on her lips.

 

So Lena had never been on Kiss Cam.

 

 ** _“Ooh, listen to that beautiful melody, folks. The stadium is a bit quiet and it’s not positive, even though our players aren't playing right now, we need something to kill the time.”_** The voice echoed around the stadium and everyone was cheering. _Of course, people love this._ **_“Let’s zoom in some seats for our Kiss Cam game!”_** The funny romantic music began to play louder and the camera moved around then stopped randomly at two people, who were awkwardly giving each other a glance.

 

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” cheered the crowd. Kara found herself cheering along and Lena’s voice was heard among those encouraging chanting as well. The couple on screen shook their heads and turned sideway to kiss their significant others. The crowd had been gearing for ‘boo’ but then switched to ‘yeah’ as the camera moved again to find another target.

 

A guy and a girl were sitting on the front row were spotted, raising their joined hands then kissed passionately in the cheering coming from all over the stadium.

 

The camera moved again to two new people who were standing next to a drink server and hadn't noticed being spotted yet, still talking to the server. Then the people around them called and pointed to the screen, they realized there were on kiss cam and the guy laughed out loud while the girl covered her face and turned around. The crowd cheered on and the guy asked the girl something then she nodded, he gave her a peck on the cheek.

 

“That’s cute,” Kara heard Lena talking and glanced at her.

 

She touched her hand to gain eye contact. When given, she confidently grinned, “We can be cuter.”

 

Lena blushed but a smirk was born on her lips. “I’ve been here plenty of times and that camera never shone on me.”

 

“Well maybe-”

 

“Hey!” someone shouted to them and they both looked around to search for the source. Kara was surprised that everyone was staring at them. 

 

“Kiss you cowards!” someone else screamed.

 

Lena shared a stunned look with her and turned to the screen, where the camera showed that they were on Kiss Cam.

 

“Kiss her!”

 

“Come on!”

 

“Make us happy!”

 

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

 

Kara knew what was going on, and though she was still bewildered that it was actually happening, she was aware of the eyes on her and Lena, of what she should do. Lena seemed quite quite shocked and reality still hadn't sunk in on her open mouth.

 

Kara took her hand and brought the back of it to her lips while holding out the index finger on the other hand, telling the camera to wait. Lena gawked at her, didn't move away and let her do whatever she wanted with flushed cheeks and a shy smile.

 

She held her eye contact with Lena when her lips left Lena’s hand and crouched closer, not giving a damn about the noises surrounding them. This was what Lena wanted, then Kara shall give her that. She slowly approached her girlfriend and tilted her head in the process but didn't go all the way. Her mouth stopped before touching Lena’s, giving her an option to refuse such attention. The brunette understood, she smiled and leaned into the kiss. The cheering leveled up and even the camera lingered at them for a while before moving to another pair.

 

Kara didn't care if they were no longer on the screen, Lena was her priority. This was the first time Lena returned to the stadium with her brother and Kara could help her have a good memory about it. Everything felt so good, so right and so worthy.

 

When they pulled back, Lena gazed into her eyes with twinkling tears and a soft smile. “That was nice,” she said fondly.

 

“Mhm…” Kara hummed knowingly, smirking, “an understatement, but sure.”

 

“Well you two are making my teeth rot,” Alex’s voice came close from the side. Lena and Kara turned their heads to find both of their siblings were giving them a look.

 

“I can't believe you two got on Kiss Cam,” Lex rolled his eyes, “on your first time at a stadium together.” The two eventually returned to their seats next to Lena and Kara.

 

“It’s better than you and me or Kara and Alex, right?” Lena cackled and then her smile swifted into a frown, “Ew.”

 

“Maggie is going to kill me if I get on Kiss Cam,” Alex laughed out loud, pointing a thumb at herself, “because this girl wins the bet.”

 

“Maggie? You neighbor, right?” Lena asked curiously. "You two bet on whether or not you would be on Kiss Cam?”

 

“No, we bet on which one of us get on Kiss Cam first,” the older Danvers took a sip from her drink, “she loves to bet.”

 

“You and Maggie never go to stadiums,” Kara squinted her eyes, “what happens when someone loses?”

 

“The loser asks the winner out,” Alex confidently claimed.

 

“You made a bet that might not have a result-” Lex twisted his mouth, “-so you could ask her out?”

 

“Ah ah ah,” Alex raised a finger, “Or she’ll have to ask me out.”

 

“Why don't you just do it?” Kara questioned while snickering, “Why the trouble?”

 

“What’s the fun in that?” her sister shrugged.

 

The other three shook their heads as the announcer welcomed everyone back to the other half-time of the game.

  
  
  
  


____________

  
  
  
  
  


“Hey,” Lena turned to her right when she heard her girlfriend, who was sitting with her in the waiting room of Doctor Arias. “Are you sure I’m allowed here?”

 

“Of course, you are. You’re my moral support, remember?” she smiled, resting her head on Kara’s shoulder.

 

Sensing a sigh from the blonde, Lena touched her hand on the left knee. “I did say that. I just don't want to get in the way of your practise or the doctor’s work.”

 

Lena’s smile brightened and she sat up, pulling Kara’s hand to put into her jacket pocket. “Don't worry, she welcomes any help I can get. Besides, you aren't just my moral support, you’re a reminder.”

 

Kara chuckled joyfully, “This is new. I’m a reminder of what?”

 

She face the blonde. “Of the first time I saw you through my window. You were annoying.” Kara pouted and Lena pinched her nose. “But then you got me out of my comfort zone. So I want to remember that the struggling I’m having now inside that office will be worth it. Like going through the rain to wait for the sun.”

 

“You're really romantic, aren't you?” Kara nudged her, the hand around Lena’s squeezing a bit.

 

“To match with your cheesiness,” Lena nudged back and began singing, “ _ I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine… _ ”

 

Kara continued the lyrics, “ _ I’ve got a love and I know that it’s all mine… oh, whoa oh… _ ”

 

They both sang the next part, giggling along and simply enjoyed the wait. Lena didn't know if Kara noticed, but the lyrics did describe her state of mind. With Kara’s hand intertwined with hers inside the pocket, Lena did have a pocketful of sunshine.

 

The door to Sam’s office opened, her assistant nodded at them with a friendly smile and invited them inside for a regular walking therapy session.

 

Lena pulled their joined hands from her pocket. Her palm immediately missed Kara’s warmth and it startled her how cold the handrim felt against her skin. She rolled the wheelchair into the room with Kara walking next to her, every step bounced in the quiet hall, companying the silent and steady movement of the wheels. It had been slowly becoming one of Lena’s favorite rhythms of the other side of life she had to get to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since I last updated. I wrote this fic because I was inspired by a job in the USA: sign holder. I didn't mean to discriminate anyone, I didn't mean to offend anyone.
> 
> Honestly I thought about abandoning this fic because I felt like whatever I do next would be seen as something negative and I don't want that. I've been through a similar situation with another fic. It was horrible.
> 
> Many friends of mine helped me through the dilemma of whether or not continuing this fic because I don't know if the stress would be worth it, since I'm going through a lot of stress in real life myself, I don't need more stress from one of the things that always brings me joy.
> 
> If you actually like the update, please tell me in the comments. It would be a long time before I update again.


	5. One day at a time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know how to summarize this chapter, really. It's just a follow up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it's been a long time. I have an idea for how this story ends but the in-between part is the difficult one. I'll try, okay? :)
> 
> Thank you so much for all of the encouragement and the love you have for the fic, I really appreciate that. I'm sorry for not replying. I'll try do that from this chapter on.
> 
> Enjoy!

Lena stared deadly at the piece of paper in her hand, frowning harder and harder every second. She was now holding the invitation to an event co-hosted by one of Luthor Corp’s good allies: CatCo Media. They didn't actually trade or had a solid contract together on any field but CatCo always had the first and hottest news on what Luthor Corp was about to do and in exchange, Luthor Corp got to stay in the shadow of the media’s scrutinizing stare after the explosion happened that killed in total of seven people and injured the Luthor heiress heavily. It was a connection that benefited both parties.

 

A public event was the last thing Lena needed right now. She was the only one whose invitation got sent to home because her mother and brother would receive theirs straight at work. CatCo Media, or rather Cat Grant, knew she was at home.

 

Her eyes cast down on the option box below the flowery words written in golden ink on black paper and a wave of something heavy took place in her heart. It was the personal information that the host should be informed so that they would create a better and more comfortable environment for the guests.

 

In another word: special needs or not?

 

When Lena’s first instinct was to tick on the option ‘ **None** ’, she realized something wrong and her hand froze before the pen touched the surface. It took her brain several seconds to process that she could no longer check in this box anymore.

 

Lena was a person with special needs now.

 

Then why couldn't she simply mark the ‘ **Yes, I need…** ’ and filled in the blank what she wanted to be prepared at the party? Why was the pen so heavy? Why did she know it was a logical thing to do, yet she had been staring at the blank spot for the last five minutes before skipping it and moving to the next option?

  
  


**Is there a plus one?     [ ] Yes. [ ] No.**

  
  


Kara came to her mind immediately and Lena was about to tick ‘Yes’ before stopping and glanced up at the previous question box. She sighed and put the invitation back on the desk. Coming to an event with Kara would be nice and Lena really wanted that to happen, but being seen publicly for the first time after the accident was a bit intimidating for her. There would be questions, talking, drinking and other social activities, things that Lena hadn't thought about for a whole year until now.

 

The last time Lena met everyone at CatCo was a few weeks before the explosion, she had been there with her team to introduce a new prototype that could help fresh food being stored better, longer to attract investors. Thinking about being there again, without the rest of her friends and in a wheelchair, Lena suddenly sensed the fear wrapping around her heart.

 

Everything had changed since the explosion.

 

Now Lena wasn't even a member of Luthor Corp anymore, though she still wanted to return to the company and start again. Now Lena wasn't just the Luthor heiress, she was the only survivor of the tragic accident that had taken the lives of seven brilliant minds and human beings.

 

Now Lena wasn't the same Lena from a year ago.

 

This Lena had seen her friends die.

 

This Lena had faced death.

 

This Lena had learned that ‘You’re lucky to be alive’ didn't sound as reassuring as it should be.

 

She wanted to run away from the invitation.

 

But she couldn't turn this down, it was a memorial ceremony of the ones who had died and her mother had mentioned it in yesterday’s dinner. Lena didn't want to do it but it was a logical and right thing to do.

 

 _“You would have to make a speech, honey.”_ Lillian had worriedly told her so and Lena knew that her mother would do everything in her power to prevent Lena from reliving or thinking about such a traumatizing twist and Lena really appreciated that. _“You can turn it down.”_

 

_“No, Mom. This honors my friends, people who meant everything to not just Luthor Corp but also to me and they deserve to be remembered. I have to do this.”_

 

It had been less stressful when she said it last night.

 

Now Lena couldn't even dare to check on the invitation, how the heck could she deliver a speech? In front of everyone? In front of her friends’ families, people who had suffered the death of their loved ones? Lena hadn't even visited any of them after the accident even though they had come to the hospital where she had been staying before the surgery. Lena had been in and out consciousness constantly due to the pain during that time to remember but Lex had told her so.

 

She escaped death. Her friends hadn't had such chances.

 

Lena felt so trapped. And quickly enough, she found herself sitting alone in the bedroom, gazing blankly through the window as the rain was still pouring down on the empty pavement.

  
  
  


________________

  
  
  
  


Kara sat on the bench, grabbing Lena’s feet and gently massaged them while applying the lotion that doctor Arias had given her. Her girlfriend was resting on the bench length while looking up at the ceiling, breathing heavily after the exercise. Lena’s face was red and her hands clenched tightly, giving an image of enduring something terrible.

 

_Is the therapy painful for you, Lena?_

 

It had only been her third time at the office and she had a feeling that whatever Lena was going through, it was worse than she could ever imagine. But then Lena looked at her with a smile, it seemed like she was so happy and satisfied with the work and Kara couldn't ask. If the physical pain had been Lena’s Kryptonite last time she went to the therapy, Kara should always be there and support her, not bringing her fear up again.

 

She couldn't help but be worried, either.

 

“How are you doing, Stickers?” she asked while driving Lena home. It was raining, not too heavily but also not too lightly outside the windows. Kara drove slowly to ensure safety for the both of them.

 

“Pretty good,” Lena cheerfully answered, “I think I’m getting there.”

 

“There?” she chuckled questioningly.

 

“Using the crutches,” Lena answered, touching Kara’s shoulder, “Sam said it might be a little soon but I think I’d got it.”

 

Kara hid a sigh and chose her tone carefully, “Lena, you don’t have to rush. Take it slow.”

 

“I’m not rushing. I feel like I can do this,” her girlfriend enthusiastically replied, turning to her with a wide smile, “It’s been such a long time since I last felt confident. Next week, you’ll see me walking.”

 

Kara had so many things she wanted to say but was afraid she might discourage Lena so she kept her mouth shut. She couldn’t imagine what Lena was going through but she could tell confidence was an important aspect of recovering from a terrible accident that changed lives.

 

She dearly hoped that nothing would ever stand in Lena’s way again. Kara admired her faith and courage, but she got worried, she had to. The articles about the explosion at Luthor Corp, she had read all of them to have a wider view of what had happened. It was a terrible accident, indeed, Kara had come across the pictures of the aftermath and she got chills running down her spines.

 

They said it was a miracle that Lena survived. Her senior, Mrs. Klaudia Haas, had been the one to cover Lena in the mass and was also the reason Lena wasn’t severely burnt from her waist up. Kara had searched for more information just to have a little insight of what Lena had gone through because she couldn’t bring herself to ask Lena directly. Lena would have to relive the experience if she asked and Kara didn’t want that.

 

“Do you have any plan next weekend?” she asked, turning on the signal to make a right turn, “How about we go on a picnic? Alex wants to meet you again.”

 

Lena didn’t answer immediately, which Kara found normal because Lena always hesitated before anything. It reminded her of the time they discussed their intimacy again, just a few days ago, when Lena came over for a movie night.

  
  
  


***

  
  


_Kara smiled when she heard Lena laugh. The brunette’s body shook slightly due to the motion, she tightened her embrace around her girlfriend, pulling her closer to snuggle her nose into Lena’s hair. They were watching a comedy action movie that Kara really loved and Lena, surprisingly, hadn’t watched. While Lena was paying attention to the movie, Kara spent the time to observe her. She loved the way Lena bit her lower lip when she was anxious for the characters or the way Lena glanced at her occasionally and blushed when their eyes met. Or when Lena rubbed her arm in circles mindlessly because the music was on, she mouthed along the lyrics from time to time._

 

_And now, Lena leaned her back against Kara’s chest deeper, warming her skin. She was little, therefore Kara always felt protective of her, always wanted to wrap her up like a burrito to be safe from the world that had already taken so much from her._

 

_“I take that you enjoy tonight,” commented Kara, reaching out to scoop some popcorns into her left hand and threw into her mouth._

 

_Lena turned to her, still sneakering. “I always enjoy movie nights.”_

 

_“But it would be better if I didn’t burn the pizza,” Kara spoke through the food, trying to form words better, “if my boss knows that, he’ll fire me on the spot. A baker ruins her own food.”_

 

_The brunette laughed, pinching her puffy cheeks. “Come on now, everyone has to make mistakes. You’re not less of a talented baker just because a pizza can’t handle the heat.” Kara couldn’t not smile at that._

 

_She kissed Lena, slowly and intentionally dragging her movement, enjoying the time. Sensing a smirk against her lips, she boldly pushed a little further, satisfying the burning need she always had around Lena but kept her hands gripping on the couch, not crossing the boundary she had set for herself when it came to intimacy with Lena._

 

_A soft moan bounced between their lips, Kara didn’t know if it was her who had made it or not, but it fueled her muscles, urging her to press against Lena stronger. Lena spun around on her, leaving the movie on as she nipped along Kara’s lip and then slid down to her jaw, giving Kara goosebumps all over._

 

_She let Lena do whatever she wanted because it was always fresh that Lena took the more dominant role between them. Warm hands touched her gently, from her back to her stomach, like they were enjoying their time, not trying to rush anything._

 

_“Look at you,” she heard Lena and opened her eyes to check. The brunette was smirking down at her, the black hair glowed like a halo around her. Magnificent. “I start thinking you intentionally burned that pizza just to get us cuddling on the couch.”_

 

_Kara grinned, shifting herself to sit up. It was not the truth, but it wasn’t harmful to play around a bit. “Probably. Why? Are you mad?”_

 

_Lena laughed jofully, “No. If you want to cuddle, just say it.”_

 

_She hummed teasingly, then leaned forward to send Lena a quick kiss. “Nah, this is more fun. Besides, I like having you like this.”_

 

 _“Like this?” One eyebrow arched on Lena’s face. “What is_ **_this_ ** _?”_

 

_Kara brought her hands to cup Lena’s face. “I can’t really say it. I guess I’m just addicted to spending time with you.”_

 

_A fair blush brushed on Lena’s cheeks. She turned to kiss Kara’s palm and then smiled at her. “You are not Donut Head, you’re a Cheese Cake.”_

 

_“I couldn’t help it,” she snickered joyfully, “You made me mushy.”_

 

_Their lips met halfway, immediately caressing each other into a rhythm that they both had learned from the other. Kara slid her fingers into Lena’s hair, tugging and pulling closer, hopefully somehow the burning desire would satisfied just by Lena’s moan against her lips._

 

_It went on for a while before Kara sensed that she should loosen her embrace, signaling that she would pull back. But Lena’s mouth chased after hers as if the brunette was the one who was trying to breach the boundary they had put for themselves. Kara tried to pull back again, and Lena still pursued her._

 

_She touched Lena’s shoulders, holding her in place. “Hey there…” she whispered against Lena’s hungry lips, “...hey, Stickers.”_

 

_The brunette now noticed and stopped. Her eyes were burning with want but Kara detected sadness also. “...yes?” she muttered, still staring at Kara’s lips._

 

_“Is everything okay?” Kara asked with concern, searching any sign of distraught on Lena’s face._

 

_“Yes. It’s just…” Lena ran her hand on Kara’s cheek, sighing silently, “I really want this. I really want… you.” Her eyes met with Kara’s, there was no hint of embarrassment in them. “In every way that is possible.”_

 

_Kara understood what Lena meant, therefore she suddenly felt shy. She was no prude, but hearing Lena approaching such matter so straightforwardly still made her self-conscious. And, without a doubt, aroused. “I don’t-” she cleared her throat awkwardly, “-don’t want to push you.”_

 

_Lena grinned, shaking her head, “This is more like me pushing you more than anything. I know my limits and what I can do, but you don’t, and I think that’s why it makes this complicated.”_

 

_Kara grabbed Lena’s hand and kissed her knuckles slowly, nursing them with care. “Then explain it to me. Tell me what I should and shouldn’t do, because-” she stared into Lena’s eyes, “-I really want you, too.”_

 

_Dating Lena was different from the previous people in her life, and not just because Lena couldn’t walk. It was more like an emotional matter rather than physical, which was also Lena’s personal obstacle in her path of trying to walk again. She had gone through so much and sometimes it broke people. But she was slowly finding herself again, and Kara was honored to be a part of it._

 

_“Well, right now, we can continue what we left off earlier,” Lena suggested, the blush still stayed on her skin, “and with a little practice…” she knowingly trailed off._

 

_Kara couldn’t help a shit-eating grin. “You know, I can totally bring you into bed. We can practice there.”_

 

_The blush now was burning on Lena’s face. She chuckled and pinched Kara’s nose. “You sly fox. I mean with clothes on.”_

 

_Kara’s eyes dropped down and shamelessly stayed at the second button on Lena’s shirt. “Oh, there is a clothes-off session, too? I can’t wait.” She laughed out loud at Lena’s jaw-dropping. “Okay, okay, no more jokes. What do you want to do?”_

 

_“Let’s just keep kissing first.”_

  
  


***

  
  
  


“Sorry, I can’t,” Lena finally spoke, apologetically, “I’m not available that day.”

 

“Oh…” Kara played down her excitement so that Lena wouldn’t feel too bad for refusing, “it’s fine. We’ll have another day.”

 

“Okay, thank you.”

 

“It’s nothing I can’t do for my lovely girlfriend,” she smiled.

 

Lena laughed nervously. “Gosh, I still haven’t gotten used to that.”

 

“Me calling you ‘girlfriend’?”

 

Lena nodded. “It’s weird, right?”

 

She shook her head, touching Lena’s hand. “Absolutely not. Not just you. I still haven’t gotten used to being called ‘an adult’.”

 

Her girlfriend laughed again. Now she sounded more relaxed. It was something Kara secretly put as her goal, to make Lena laugh like this at least once every time they met. The less frown she saw on the brunette’s face, the more she felt earned her spot in Lena’s life.

 

They parted ways later, with Lena waving her goodbye. Kara looked through the rear mirror, watching as Lena’s smile slowly drowned in the vibrant colors of the blossoming flowers that Mrs. Luthor had planted. She kept in mind that next time she should bring one or two pots of tulips, just to add a little touch to the home that sheltered Lena every day.

  
  
  


_________________

  
  
  
  


“Am I broken?”

 

Sam paused her hands on Lena’s knees, looking up at the crying woman sitting on the rest bed. It had been a scary morning for the both of them. Sam had been certain that Lena might start using the crutches but she didn’t expect her patient to put too much force on her still unstable limbs and it made them weaker.

 

The fall could have been worse if Sam wasn’t around to catch Lena. She cursed herself for not noticing the signs of a person who was too eager to do something. There weren’t many signs, to begin with, but she should not look for excuses. What happened to Lena right now was her fault.

 

She could tell Lena the truth, but it would only make the woman more distressed. Yet, as a doctor, it was her responsibility to deliver the news.

 

“Nobody is broken, Lena,” she said, gently continuing checking the woman’s knees. The joints were still intact, which was a good sign, but the bruises were starting to show. It wasn’t serious, though to Lena they would look serious. “It’s just a little step back.”

 

Lena covered her face, sobbing a bit. “Sam, I’m so sorry for rushing. I thought-I hoped that the previous sessions would gain me a bigger chance to w-walk.”

 

“Hey, hey, hey…” she tenderly touched Lena’s wrists, “It’s okay, people tend to rush all the time.”

 

Watery green eyes peeked out between the pale fingers, staring at her timidly. “Really?”

 

She couldn’t help a smile. “Yes. And this was my fault for not advising you in time. So don’t beat yourself up. Please.”

 

Lena nodded, though she still looked unconvinced. Sam grabbed some tissues to give her, waiting for her to wipe her eyes. “It’s just… I don’t know who I am anymore.”

 

She patiently asked, “Is there something wrong? Something that makes you doubt yourself?” Lena shook her head but Sam had seen these signs somewhere. During her time as a therapist, nobody would open up to her right after the first question. “Sometimes the biggest obstacle is ourselves, Lena.”

 

The black-haired girl sniffed in harshly and admitted, “I don’t know if this is an ‘obstacle’ or not but I keep thinking about it all the time.”

 

“Tell me, I’ll see what I can do.”

 

And Lena proceeded to tell her about the invitation and her public appearance for the first time since the accident. Sam knew about the explosion and who Lena was, but of course, she couldn’t imagine what Lena was going through. She definitely had the survival guilt, which had thrown her off in their last time.

 

Sam couldn’t help Lena with this, but she knew who could.

 

“The ceremony is next weekend, right?” she wanted to make sure.

 

“Yes. I haven’t told Kara about it yet. I don’t know what to do.”

 

“Let’s make a short field trip tomorrow,” Sam grinned.

 

Lena seemed confused. “Field trip?”

 

“Yes. Instead of staying in, I’ll take you somewhere. A special session.”

 

There was a flash of trust in Lena’s eyes when she replied with, “Sure.”

  
  
  


___________________

  
  
  
  


Lena got nervous when she sat in Sam’s car, waiting for her to put Lena’s wheelchair in the trunk. She had never gone out with anyone else but her family and Kara. Sitting in a less professional environment with Sam made her self-conscious a little because Sam wasn’t wearing her usual white coat but a rather comfortable outfit that made her even more stand-out than any other day.

 

“Are we going somewhere far?” she asked when Sam started driving the car out of the parking lot.

 

The doctor glanced to give her a playful smile. “I’m not kidnapping you, Lena.”

 

“Well everything fits,” she joked around to quiet down her erratic heartbeat, “I wouldn’t be able to fight back if you kidnap me anyway.”

 

Sam chuckled out loud, shaking her head. “I’ll take you to see a few friends of mine. They don’t live too far away and it’s been a while since I last visited them.”

 

Lena arched an eyebrow as she sensed the familiar sensation of her first date with Kara coming to her mind. “Don’t tell me you’re going to bring me to a dog shelter.”

 

Sam threw her a glance, amused. “No. But that’s a great idea. Animals can help during therapy sessions.”

 

Lena then stayed quiet and watched the street through the window. It was a sunny day, warm and bright. It reminded Lena of the days she watched Kara from the window of her room. What a heartwarming memory, one of the things she would hold close to her heart forever.

 

The car took a soft turn into a large yard. Sam seemed to know the place well, she parked the car right under an oak tree and turned off the engine.

 

“Alright, let’s go.”

 

Lena followed Sam’s steps, going along the paveway and caught the sound of people laughing, talking. There was a big garden right on the right of the building. There were elders, middle-aged people and even children.

 

Sam stopped in front of the doors and pressed a red button right at her waist level on the left. The doors automatically opened, revealing a long hall.

 

“After you,” the doctor politely gestured inside. Lena rolled the chair in and gazed in awe at the decorations on the walls. It was adorable with a long green grass field running along the hall, animals, and children drawn on the wall. But the drawings itself didn’t make her eyes linger. She noticed the random handprints and even footprints on the painting, from high to low, not in any particular order, in every size.

 

“What is this place?” she asked Sam after two people who were wearing uniforms walking past and greeted the doctor in a friendly way like they all knew each other.

 

“You’ll know,” Sam smiled down at her and knocked on a door with ‘307’ on it.

 

The door opened to reveal a tall, dark skin man, who grinned when he saw Sam. “Sammy! You’re back!”

 

“Hey, Kenny. This is Lena, my friend. Lena, this is Kenny,” Sam introduced and stepped back as Kenny pushed the door wider.

 

Lena’s immediately glued to Kenny’s right elbow, where the rest of his arm had gone. He didn’t seem to mind, extending his left hand. “Hello, Lena. Nice to meet you.”

 

She shook his large hand with a shy smile. “Hi, Kenny. Nice to meet you, too.”

 

“Come in, you two! Everyone would love to see you,” Kenny invited them.

 

She rolled the chair in and her heart dropped.

 

Lena had never seen so many people without a limb in the same room. There was a woman sitting on the couch with her right shoulder gone, another young man with a prosthetic hand, who was playing dominos with an old man without both of his legs. In a corner, three old women were laughing while playing cards. There were even more people in the other side of the room that connected with this one through a door frame. Everyone turned to Sam and greeted her with a smile, some waved joyfully.

 

“Sam!”

 

“Doctor Arias!”

 

“Hey there!”

 

Sam walked over and hugged this person to another, arms spreading and embracing like old friends. Maybe they were all old friends. Lena silently watched Sam greeted the whole room before gesturing her.

 

“Everyone, this is Lena.”

 

“Hi, Lena!” The heartwarming greeting made Lena unconsciously smile back.

 

Sam returned to her place and crouched down. “Let’s go around and make some friends, shall we?”

 

Sam brought Lena to a corner, where a boy was sitting down around a pile of wooden blocks. He played alone, seemingly pleased with himself.

 

When Lena and Sam approached him, he looked up at them and grinned widely.

 

“Sammy!” The doctor crouched down and hugged him. Lena noticed the boy was wearing a glove. In this particularly hot day, he was wearing a glove. “Who is this?” he asked, pointedly looking straight at Lena after they let each other go.

 

“This is Lena, my friend,” Sam introduced with a friendly smile. “Lena, this is Eric.”

 

“Hello, Eric,” she offered a handshake but the boy stood up.

 

“Can I hug you?”

 

Lena took a moment to consider, glancing at Sam, then nodded. Eric walked into her open arms and instantly, she realized the difference. It also explained why Eric wore the glove.

 

He had a prosthetic arm, hidden in the long sleeve of his shirt.

 

Eric couldn’t be older than twelve, yet he already lost a limb. Lena’s heart felt like cracking when she saw his carefree smile. “Do you want to play with me?” he asked, pointing at the blocks.

 

Lena gestured her legs. “I’m afraid I can’t sit on the floor with you.”

 

Eric pointed over his shoulder. “She can bring you down.” He gave Sam a look. “Right, Sammy?”

 

The doctor scratched her neck, a faint blush blew on her cheeks. “Um, if you’re okay with that… But it’s your choice, totally.”

 

Lena checked Eric’s reaction and decided that she had come here to seek something, she should just go with the flow. “Yes. Please help me sit down with Eric.”

 

Sam walked over and offered her hand, then she let Lena grab onto her shoulders, which pressed their fronts together, but only for a moment. The doctor slid her hands behind Lena’s knees and lowered her down on the carpet with Eric. Lena’s nose caught an unfamiliar scent of perfume from Sam’s neck and she noticed that Sam never wore perfume in their sessions.

 

“I think I should let you two for a bit,” Sam said, rubbing her neck again, “I’ll go get something for you to drink, Lena. Coffee, juice or water?”

 

“Water is fine, thank you.”

 

The doctor walked away, the blush still glared on her face. Lena rarely saw this kind of expression from Sam and she got curious, then forgot about it when Eric pulled her hand.

 

They started building little towers.

 

“How long have you been having your special arm?” Lena asked Eric while their castle was almost done.

 

Eric shrugged, “A few years. Mom said I’ll get a bigger one when I’m bigger.”

 

“What does it feel like to have it?”

 

“It makes me feel like a cyborg.” A gleam of mischief glowed in his eyes. “Everyone in school likes my arm. I sometimes help Mrs. Zimmerman get the stuff she drops behind her desk.” He rolled the left sleeve up to reveal the prosthetic arm, with the black coat and joints that resembled human wrist. The hand, however, was still hidden behind the glove. When the sleeve was rolled up to his elbow, Lena finally saw the amputated limb, just right below the bicep. Eric pressed something on the arm and pulled it completely off. Lena’s eyebrows rose higher. “Only I can reach far enough.” Eric waved the hand. “Would you like to hold it?”

 

“Sure.” Eric placed the arm in her lap.

 

Lena ran her hands along the length of it, feeling the hard and cool surface. “This is amazing.”

 

“Yeah. It helps me do a lot of stuff. But I don’t really need it.”

 

Lena looked up at the boy, surprised. She thought that a boy in Eric’s age would love to be just like any other kid. “Really?”

 

“Uh huh,” he hummed and touched the missing limb, “I have more friends after I got the arm but my old friends are still there. My Mom said I’m not any less Eric even if I lost an arm. I think it’s true because now people call me Eric the Cyborg. Also, on Halloween, I always get to play a zombie or a victim of a shark. It’s _so_ much cooler than just a pirate.”

 

Lena unconsciously smiled at how happy Eric looked when he talked about what he could do without a limb. It was fascinating, truly, to see things in a different perspective. Missing something didn’t always mean you lost it completely.

 

She touched the fingers and they suddenly closed inward, holding her hand. It startled her and Eric burst out laughing. “Hey!” she scolded jokingly, “That’s scary!”

 

The machine let her hand go. “I’m sorry but that’s my superpower, I have to show you.” He received the arm back and hooked it at his elbow. “You’re Sammy’s friend so I thought you’re used to things like this.”

 

“How come?” Lena placed a hand on her heart to feel the erratic heartbeat after the scare.

 

“She did that to me the first time I saw the arm too,” Eric grinned, “she’s the worst.”

 

“Don’t make me sound so awful, little bud.” Sam’s voice came along with the soft panting of laughter from behind Lena. “There you go.” She handed Lena a glass of water and Eric a bottle of apple juice.

 

“Juice? But I hate juice.” Eric made a face. “Can I get a Coke, please?”

 

“Nope. Your Mom told me about your drink choices. She gave me the juice. I would never try to argue with her,” Sam smirked down at him, “especially after you ratted me out to Lena.”

 

Eric pouted. “You are really the worst.”

 

Their friendly exchange made Lena think of an older sister teasing her little brother and then ruffled his head and still gave him a Coke he desired. Lena was reminded of Lex, who clearly wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if he hadn’t teased or poked something at her when they were younger. Well, at least before the accident.

 

Sam brought Lena to meet many people that day but Lena would remember Eric and Meghan. Meghan had the similar experience with Lena for losing a leg after being trapped in a terrible car accident twenty-five years ago. She told Lena her story and she told Meghan hers. They shared an understanding and the same desire to walk like before an accident took that ability away. But Meghan was different. She didn’t talk about the missing limb like something horrid, she actually treasured it like a fond memory.

 

_“You wouldn’t appreciate something until it’s gone.”_

 

Her words haunted Lena. They made her rethink every attitude she had given her family and how precious the memories were. Lena appreciated the time people put up with her and she found out how patient everyone had been to her.

 

When Lena asked Meghan about her therapy to walk again or even a prosthetic leg, the woman only laughed.

 

_“Sweet girl, I stopped doing that a long time ago.”_

 

_“Why? Don’t you want to walk again?”_

 

_“I do, but I don’t think it’s a must. I don’t need to walk to find happiness. I don’t want to turn back time, actually. After everything, I realize I am capable of more than before, and doing it with a missing leg. How cool is that? With a positive attitude, I can screw walking and fly.”_

 

Lena was taken aback by that. It was true that the idea of walking again had invaded Lena’s mind more than anything before the accident. It was a natural desire, but that didn’t mean it was all she needed to do.

 

She survived a horrible explosion. Meghan survived having her leg stuck between the crumpled car. Eric survived the infection since birth that ate up his arm and having to remove it completely.

 

Everyone here had a story similar to Lena’s, whether they lost or were born without something, but they had something that Lena not yet did: acceptance and positivity in it. They accepted who they were and what had happened to them but never compared to one another. They learned something from it and they moved on, they kept on doing what they had always been without an eye, or a hand, a leg, a shoulder.

 

They were more than just a group of people who lost a part of themselves. They were the new version of themselves. And that version was better or not was their decision.

 

Lena could be a new version of herself, and it would be her choice.

  
  


____

  
  
  


“Thank you for bringing me here. I had a great time,” Lena said while they were in the cafeteria, having lunch together. Sam smiled when she heard and saw how delight Lena seemed after her trip to the center. She didn’t expect much, only trying to help Lena making some new friends, someone who could really understand what she was going through. No matter how good Sam was in her job, she could not have the insights like her former patients.

 

“It’s nothing,” she shrugged, sipping her coffee. “I’m glad you enjoyed this little field trip.”

 

“Really, thank you so much. I-I didn’t know how shallow I was until now.”

 

“Hey, you weren’t shallow,” Sam touched Lena's shoulder.

 

“No, I actually was.” Lena chuckled light-heartedly. “I kept thinking that all I needed to do was walking again and only then I would be ready to achieve more.”

 

Sam squeezed her shoulder and leaned back. “That’s normal, Lena. Almost everyone here has gone through the same phase.”

 

“Oh, were you their doctor, too?”

 

“Some of them. They’re all my friends now.”

 

Lena sighed out but her lips formed a smile. “Am I your friend?”

 

“Yes!” Sam quickly answered and then carefully added, “Outside of the sessions, of course.” She didn’t want to overstep any boundaries that Lena wasn’t comfortable with.

 

“Absolutely.” Lena's eyes drifted down to her hands. “You know, there’s something Eric said that makes me really think. He said he wasn’t any less Eric than he already was before losing his arm. I thought I wasn’t myself anymore the moment I woke up on the hospital bed, not being able to move my legs.” She lifted her head, staring into Sam’s eyes with something twinkling in hers. “I began comparing me to everyone, thinking that I was missing an important part of me. I compared myself to how I used to be: the carefree girl whose biggest concern was using her work to help people. After the accident, I lost everything and helping people was no longer my concern. Others felt sorry for me and I started doing that too. None of these people feel sorry for themselves, not anymore. They can see their life as it is and just keep on going. A new version.” Lena straightened her back and took in a deep breath. “I will become a new version of myself, too.”

 

Sam couldn’t help the smile spreading on her lips. It was great to see Lena being confident again, especially after the fall back in the session. Sometimes, she didn’t know if it was just her professional instinct or her unprofessional feelings that made her care a lot about Lena - much more than she should - but she was glad that whatever it was, it helped Lena.

 

And if it helped, Sam wouldn’t question it at all.

 

She wouldn’t question why Kenny whispered in her ear before they left that she should ask Lena out and why she had to try to not blush and deny every implication thrown at her along with the knowing smirk on his face.

  
  
  


________________

  
  
  
  


Kara was lying on the bed when the phone rang. Lena’s face and name blinked on the screen, sending Kara an urge to smile.

 

“Hey, I just thought about you,” she greeted and heard the soft chuckle on the other end.

 

 _“Smooth. Do you say that to every girl?”_ Kara could feel the grin on Lena’s face. Her girlfriend sounded a bit different today. She sounded a lot more happy than usual.

 

“No, only the ones that I’m dating.” She rolled onto her back and then realized what she just said and sat up. “That doesn’t mean I’m dating several people at once! I’m only dating you and you alone.”

 

_“Yes, I get it, silly. You really need to work on those flirts sometimes.”_

 

They both laughed a little. Then Kara confessed, “I miss you.”

 

A sigh could be heard from the speaker. _“Me too. I’m sorry about the picnic.”_

 

“It’s okay. We can always do it.”

 

_“I want to apologize. All of the days we haven’t seen each other, there’s something I haven’t told you about.”_

 

Suddenly the words sounded heavy and it made Kara worried. “What is it?”

 

She heard Lena taking in a deep breath. _“I am really unavailable on the day of the picnic because I’m invited elsewhere. It’s a ceremony to honor my friends, people who died in the accident.”_

 

Kara’s heart dropped when she recognized Lena’s tone. It was the same when she told Kara about the nightmares she had, the struggles she was burdened with, everything led back to the accident. “You don’t want to go?”

 

 _“Actually, I do. It’s just… I haven’t returned to Luthor Corp since then and...”_ Lena sighed, _“The last time I was there, I got dragged out by a fireman from under the debris covered in blood, Kara.”_

 

Kara could not imagine if she had to see it for herself. She couldn’t even stand watching Lena having a papercut, let alone being hurt in any other way.

 

“Are you scared? Can I come with you?”

 

Lena chuckled a bit, seemingly didn’t take the memory too horribly like Kara had pictured. _“That’s exactly what I’m asking you. I’d love to bring you as my plus one.”_

 

“Of course, I’m coming. But are you sure about it? If it’s too much for you…”

 

_“Don’t worry. I want to go to the ceremony. I want to honor my friends and not being afraid of the building anymore. I want to continue helping people like I did before. This ceremony will help me do that.”_

 

Kara let out a sigh of relief. “Good. I’m so glad to hear it.”

 

_“Then it’s settled. I’ll confirm our seats.”_

 

A stretch of silence rolled in between them. Kara knew the topic was still heavy for Lena, no matter how much she tried to appear the opposite.

 

“Lena.”

 

_“Yes?”_

 

“You are the strongest person I’ve known.”

 

Lena didn’t reply immediately but eventually she did. _“Really?”_

 

“A hundred percent. You’ll get through this, and you’ll be happy.”

 

_“I am already happy, Kara.”_

 

“Well, _happier._ ”

 

_“Happier than this?”_

 

“Yeah. One day at a time, you’ll do it.”

 

Kara heard Lena sniffing. She felt a bit bad for making her girlfriend cry. So she had the obligation of making her smile, reminding herself of the goal she put up in her mind.

 

“Do you know cows can sleep standing up but they can only dream lying down?”

 

Lena’s joyful laughter bounced beautifully in Kara’s ear. _“What the heck, Kara? That’s so random!”_

 

“And alcohol can make scorpions go crazy and sting themselves to death.”

 

_“How do you know that?”_

 

“The Make-Lena-Smile-Once-A-Day list.”

 

_“Is that a thing?”_

 

“No, but it should be.”

 

_“You’re such a dork.”_

 

“But you like this dork, right?”

 

Lena’s smile could be heard, making Kara grin. _“Yes, I like this dork.”_

 

“Okay. A flamingo can only eat when its head is upside down.”

 

They kept on talking with Kara stating the most random facts about animals she could gather to make Lena cackle until midnight. When she no longer heard Lena’s drowsy voice, but the steady breathing instead, she knew it was time to stop.

 

“Good night, Lena.” She paused, then took a deep breath to find some courage to say the words that Lena couldn’t hear but still terrified her to voice out loud. “I love you.”

 

Quickly ending the call, Kara rolled into the blanket and let out an immature squeal while her heart pumped like a woodpecker against her chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got interrupted a lot while updating this one so I'm nervous about how it will be able to connect to the previous ones. I'd love to know your opinions on this.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it :)


End file.
